The Pull-and-Pray

Dan Savage has an interesting take on it, but it bears repeating. I have something to say about it, too, but I don't have the time to write it down, so this post is more about "Barry reminding himself to write later." Per the NYTimes article, set off by a June article in Contraception magazine (warning: PDF):

“If the male partner withdraws before ejaculation every time a couple has vaginal intercourse, about 4 percent of couples will become pregnant over the course of a year,” the authors write.

For condoms, used optimally, the rate is about 2 percent. But more significant, the authors say, are the rates for “typical use,” because people can’t be expected to use any contraception method perfectly every time. Typical use of withdrawal leads to pregnancy 18 percent of the time, they write; for typical use of condoms 17 percent of the time.

(There are other, more effective methods. Failure rates for the pill and the patch are about 8 percent; for Depo-Provera injections, about 3 percent; and for diaphragms, about 16 percent. Intrauterine devices fail less than 1 percent of the time.)

Did you know some gay men use the withdrawal method as a means of protecting themselves against HIV? Truth. "On me, around me, just not in me."

Additionally, I wonder if there isn't an interesting study to be done on the effectiveness of withdrawal as a function of age. How well does a teenage virgin practice withdrawal as compared to a, say, established man in his early 40s?

But I've been reading David Halperin, and I've been wondering about risk taking these days, so... yea, I'm trying to cross reference in my head.

Picture thanks to Birth-Control-Comparison.info.

National HIV Testing Day

Don't forget -- it's that time of the year. I'll repost my story tomorrow. Jo Anne over at TheSkeptikOne (ha! I got it right!) has a great run down of where and how to get tested or learn more this weekend. If you are confused, call this number:

513-421-AIDS

(513-421-2437)

It's STOP AIDS' phone number. They'll direct you on how/where/when to get tested.

HIV is still out there; a great way you can be protected, and a great way to protect your partner, is to get tested today. (And don't forget the rubbers, boys and girls -- if you call that number or stop by their office at 220 Findlay, you can get a shitton for free. We used to give out grocery bags full, sometimes.)

El Papa, "Condoms not good for AIDS."

I mean, he's not completely unreasonable, he's saying that abstinence is better and condoms promote sex. That's true, right? In much the same way eyeglasses promote poor eyesight.

From IndyStar.com:

In his four years as pope, Benedict had never directly addressed condom use, although his position is not new. His predecessor, Pope John Paul II, often said that sexual abstinence - not condoms - was the best way to prevent the spread of the disease.

Benedict also said the Roman Catholic Church was at the forefront of the battle against AIDS.

"You can't resolve it with the distribution of condoms," the pope told reporters aboard the Alitalia plane heading to Yaounde. "On the contrary, it increases the problem."

The pope said a responsible and moral attitude toward sex would help fight the disease, as he answered questions submitted in advance by reporters traveling on the plane. His response was presumably also prepared in advance.

FOXNews is quick to bring up the issue that most sources are emphasizing the "no on condoms approach." Because, you know, FOXNews is the moral paragon of the country.

Meanwhile, people continue to have sex and people continue to get AIDS. You know, because years of abstinence-abstinence-abstinence worked for this country and everyone else...

...after all, just look at the Palin's.

Look: let's be honest. Abstinence is the best way to protect yourself from getting STD's and against unwanted pregnancies. It's the truth. No one is denying that. But the problem is not whether or not we go out and teach abstinence, it's whether or not we add the rejoinder "but if you choose to have sex, you should use..."

It's called comprehensive sex education, not "happy-fun-fuck-orgy-time" sex education. Responsible, complete, intelligent.

Health and Gay People

What's wrong with this anti-gay article (written by a Christian celibate man who "left the gay community") quoting these statistics:

· Life expectancy of gay/bisexual men in Canada is 20 years less than the average; that is 55 years.
· GLB people commit suicide at rates from 2 to 13.9 times more often than average.
· GLB people have smoking rates 1.3 to 3 times higher than average.
· GLB people have rates of alcoholism 1.4 to 7 times higher than average.
· GLB people have rates of illicit drug use 1.6 to 19 times higher than average.
· GLB people show rates of depression 1.8 to 3 times higher than average.
· Gay and bisexual men (MSM) comprise 76.1% of AIDS cases.
· Gay and bisexual men (MSM) comprise 54% of new HIV infections each year.
· If one uses Statistics Canada figure of 1.7% of GLB becoming infected, that is 26 times higher than average.
· GLB people are at a higher risk for anal cancers.

How about other studies showing similar health differences in other minorities? Let's say, African Americans, for example. Or, Asian Americans. (NOTE: literally the first websites that popped up)

The problem with a baseline is that sometimes it's the wrong base. White guys have higher rates of heart attacks -- does that make heterosexual sex wrong? Or the WASP-y lifestyle? Oh, and can we start talking about obesity? Seriously. Don't play the health game, especially when this is your closer:

The culture of pushing sex down people's throats is not working. There is nothing wrong with abstinence from sex. This goes for everyone who is not married to someone of the opposite sex. I've been single and chaste for many years after having left the gay community. You don't die from not having sex. It's not like air or water.

Recent laws, policies and public funding aimed at reducing the rate of suicide, addiction, partner abuse, and STI's by granting more sexual freedom have not diminished those statistics. In fact, there has been an increase since the beginning of the 'rights' movement in the early 70's, and it's getting worse, not better. In places like San Francisco and the Netherlands where gay sex has been normalized, many of these stats are worse, so I have difficulty with the theory that more freedom, money and legislation will reduce these stats. That is just not where the facts point.

The Church talks about Natural Law and says that if something is true it will prove true in many ways. The Bible says gay sex is a problem, biology doesn't support it, and health statistics demonstrate its problems. Why not abstain? That's what I'm doing.

Or when this is linked off your front page.

How much of the mental health/depression issues, for example, arise for your outright bigotry? Leave the gays alone, guys. Seriously. We were perfectly content to leave you alone, but, every now and again, some of the religious folk in the world... well, it just makes it hard to live and let live.

I can tell you now, shaming people does not a healthcare relationship make.

But that doesn't alleviate our duty to protect ourselves and make sure that we have a good thorough understanding of health concerns that affect us, and have important discussions on how we can better improve our health.

Totally NSFW

Thanks, TM.

Strange state of affairs

I suddenly realized I don't have a single condom in my house.

That's a really strange state of affairs.

HIV/AIDS: CONDOMANIA

(originally found on the Slog)

I love Condomania -- probably the best source for every condom under the sun. If, for no other reason, it's a lot of fun to peruse the site and see what's out there -- warning, NSFW. They also have a delicious set of adult toys.

But from the world of, well, them... here are PERSONALIZED CONDOMS!! That's right, you two can be the face on your condom.

Hope that doesn't creep you out too much, honey. But you can buy them here!!! I'm actually thinking of doing one for QueerCincinnati... would you pick them up??? And, more importantly, would you put them on???



Also, per Condomania, I'm having difficulty finding the original article in Cargo magazine (oh, duh), here are their rates of the best condoms, by category:

Standard: Durex Natural Feeling
Durex is a reliable brand, and one you can often find handed out by AIDS organizations, as they seem to be fairly pro-safe sex... I wonder why.


Ultra-Thin: Kimono Micro-Thin Large
I once knew a drag queen named Kim Ono. A lot of people like this brand because of the name.


New Shape: Inspiral Condom
What do they mean by New Shape? My penis is the same shape it's always been. It changes size, though. Wanna see?

PS -- From the website regarding the shape: Inspiral condoms are highly rated by our customers and the press as a "must try." Perhaps no where else does form meet function in such exquisite fashion than in the design of the Inspiral condom. The winding, twisting shape succeeds in producing vigorous dynamic action that stimulates nerve endings and heightens sensitivity for both men and women.

Warming: Trojan Shared Pleasure
"It kept getting warmer... and warmer... and warmer... until it started burning!!! I don't know, maybe we just did it too hard." -- From a dear friend of mine who tried to use warming lube in her coochie.


Polyurethane: Durex Avanti
I don't think there is another brand, is there? I dunno, I like polyurethane condoms. Try 'em once. Oh, and Female Condoms are not approved for anal sex.


Extra Large: Trojan Magnum XL
Everyone thinks they need it, few actually do. Apparently, a lot of 14 year olds in OTR think they do. I just tell them to come back when their testicles drop.


Smaller: Lifestyles Snugger Fit
"Snugger Fit" because no man on Earth is going to the pharmacist and asking for the smallest condom they have. I think this is another type of condom that no one else makes.

I'm 90% sure that's not what it looks like, but, whatever, it's a party

Custom Sized: TheyFit Sized-to-Fit
Well, this is a fun website to go exploring

Yes, that is the Condom Wizard, kids. And because I'm a sick, sick man, let's go over some of the thing the Condom Wizard "says" on the website regarding alternatively sized condoms:

1. So, your trying to park your car in the garage of love, but the door just isn't wide enough? You say that most condoms feel like a size 7 shoe when your are a size 10. (from "Larger: From Top to Bottom")
2. So, the hat feels a little tight, eh? You say that the only thing you seem to end up with when in pursuit of a high quality condom is a head-ache? (from "Larger: More Headroom")
3.So, the glove doesn't quite fit right, eh? You crave a high quality condom, but you don't want the sock to slip off? (from "Snugger Fit")

I feel dirty.


No word on if there will be a repeat of the testing. But I'd like to volunteer to try each and every one, so long as I get to pick my lab partner.

All pictures are from the Condomania website.