FAGWATCH: Is it appropriate...

...to use another derogatory term to someone if they called you a faggot?

For example:

If a black person refers to me hatefully as a faggot, could I then turn and refer to him as a nigger? Or, if a lesbian calls me a faggot, could I shoot back and call her a dyke? Or, if a woman calls me a faggot, could I call her a cunt?

Just a thought, but would love to hear your responses....

(For all the postings under the listing of "FAGWATCH," just click here... I know, I don't do these enough. But, in truth, I don't get called a faggot that often. And thank goodness for that.)

FAGWATCH: GRID

I'm divided on this, so I'll let you tell me if this is justified.

As most of you have guessed, I am an HIV counsellor/tester at UC. I asked a med student (who come and work here in their fourth year) whether or not it was appropo to test someone -- a friend of his, actually.

The kid responded, "Yea, go in and tell him he has GRID" (Gay-Related Immunodeficiency -- the original name of AIDS before we knew what we were dealing with). Him and and his bud then started to laugh about it.

I mean, I don't think he was meaning to be rude, but I'm pretty insulted by it.

FAGWATCH: Part 3?

It's been a while since I've posted one of these, but this happened twice in the same place over a two day period. To protect confidentiality, I've got to classify who said them.

1) One of our nurses was dancing, and someone said "why he's dancing like a fag over there." First of all, I wish the guy was gay -- he's cute. Second of all, how does a fag dance? (HA! That's a silly question.) But, I called them out and they apologized.

2) Someone was referring to the "girls" downtown -- the joke is that the working girls downtown don't look all that good, but the "girls" look damn hot; it was later explained to me that the "girls" have to try to look female to create the illusion and get work, unlike the girls who don't have to try so hard. Anyways, the person kept referring to the "girls" as "fags." Repeatedly. I explained that, personally, I find the word insulting, and she apologized and changed her wording. Of course, me writing "girls" may not be much better... it is, after all, their gender expression. (There's a whole blog about gender expression and the search for trans-identity there, but I'm tired this morning)

Anyways, the latest in many many fag posts.

FAGWATCH: Part 2

I was called a fag again!!!

Again, by a lesbian.

There's this girl at this bar who once came up behind me at that bar (ok, Little Bit Bar... we'll call it LBB) and slapped me upside the head REALLY HARD and said "Hey!!!" I got upset and she tried to make amends for months and months and we then had this pretty laid back and tense friendship.

So LM and I went to LBB on Saturday night to see whether or not we would enjoy the crowd. I saw this girl, and we were chatting, and then, suddenly she slaps me up side the head. I hit her back, she jumps out of her chair, puts me in a head lock and calls me a fag. Someone finally pulls her off of me, and she sits down muttering "faggot" over and over and over again.

She claims that I hit her first, but no one around me saw me strike.

Who knows? Anyways, another reason FAG should be out of my vocabulary, because lesbians think it's cool to dis gay men.

FAGWATCH: Part 1

So I wanna just preface my next blog, which may be a few days in coming, with a little bit of background:

I have promised never to use the word "fag" or "dyke" again. Why? Because over the last month I've heard them used by queerfolk in anger and hatred to or about other queerfolk.

1) At a bar in Cbus, I was called a fag by a lesbian who jumped in front of me in line. Instead of ignoring my joking and sarcastic spiel, she decided to unlease a string of vitriole (sp?) including above word at me.

2) At a bar in Oxford, the guy I had earlier in the day been on a date with called a good friend of mine a fag ... when I objected, he then proceded to try and justify the usage -- as if it were ever ok when you use it negatively.

So, since we queerfolk cannot use the word properly -- in a campy and humorous manner only amongst ourselves and instead decide that we are going to fill the world with more hate than we already have -- I am striking the word from my life. This is about respect and the realization that maybe, just maybe, that word may mean something other than an insult.

And, using it as a way to attack someone's gender expression or their sexual expression... well, that's just against the movement isn't it...

Wait for Part 2...