Queer Bar Stirs a Little Controversy

Cincinnati Guerrilla Queer Bar, which is fast becoming a mainstay on people's party calendar, has both tried to quell some complaints about the event but stirred some controversy in the process. The latest email via their Facebook group:

First-

GUERRILLA QUEER BAR is TOMORROW night (Friday, July 3rd)!

As we eluded to in the previous message, this month is going to be excitingly different. After lots of conversations with many female identified CGQB-ers, we've decided that it is necessary and important to focus this guerrilla queering on FIGHTING MISOGYNY.

I know many of you queer boys out there might be saying, "But there haven't been any problems! I've been having a great time, let's just keep it about being queer in straight spaces!"

Listen boys, it's time to clear the misogynist gauze from our eyes! Being queer doesn't make us free from our male privilege! Many women have reported that they might stop coming to Guerrilla Queer Bar because they feel unsupported in the struggle against all the sexual objectification and misogyny they face during CGQBs!

We'll have pamphlets about combating misogyny for people to pass out, but feel free to show your support by making a t-shirt, sign, or your own flier!!

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"Okay, I'm excited to fight misogyny, but what is the ridiculously awesome place we'll be queering this month!!??", you might be asking...
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(can I get a drum roll please...)
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THE NORTHSIDE ROCK AND ROLL CARNIVAL!!!!!
located in Hoffner Park (where the Pride Festival was)

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We know some of you may be complaining, "Northside!? Northside's already as queer as we get in Cincinnati! I thought CGQB was about going to radically straight bars!"

Have no fear! Though lots of queers may live in Northside, there are still plenty of homophoic/transphobic/racist/misogynist people to interact with and show the beauty of queer-dance-love-fantastic. ESPECIALLY at a ROCK and ROLL festival!

Some of you may be still be thinking, "I thought we were going to bars! I don't want to go to some outdoor festival with music I don't like!"

Have no fear again! First-- the festival is going to be ridiculously awesome. There will be a fire performer, a sword swallower (talk about no gag reflex!), and seriously good music. Second-- Cincinnati Guerrilla Queer Bar is going to have a booth so all us queers can gather and celebrate! It will be complete with a kissing booth, queer face painting from 8-10, and lots of cuties to meet. TONS of cheap beer will be for sale, but remember to also bring your thermos full of _________!

Leave your fears at home, put on the queerest outfit you've got (for serious this time-- you'll be in Northside!), come find the CGQB booth (we'll be gathering there around 8), and make Hoffner park even queerer than it was for pride!

Unfortunately, I don't think people got it, or just have just been responding with some negativity on their wall posts, for example:

Your new crusade to fight misogyny is laughable when one takes into account the stance taken in past Queer Bar events when the issue of the sexes has arisen. An April 2 invitation to an event in fact encouraged participants to take part in and ipso facto support a "lady's night" event". An event that offered preferential treatment contingent on being a member of a certain sex. Any preferential treatment is unacceptable, regardless of whether or not something is so common place that it is practically an institution. A number of state supreme courts, including California's and Iowa's, have ruled lady's night is sexist by nature and a violation of men's civil rights. Surely the women participants in said event happily took advantage of the benefits afforded them. I hardly see the point in coming to the defense of a group that willfully participates in events geared at discrimination. Any argument that ladies night is something designed to benefit men by ensuring a large number of women

With two supporters responding:

Every GQB has in some way encountered discriminatory gender-related policies like ladies night, and at every one GQB has engaged these policies in some way either in negotiating with the bar in advance or while we are actually there, either through a questioning of the rules each time they are encountered (remember when we tried to get Sully's to question what they understood to be "ladies"?), or, through a direct breaking of these rules. In the case of the "no dicks on stage" policy at the Lodge bar, this led some people to nearly get kicked out. This time, the engagement with broader issues of misogyny, sexism, and the objectification of women is just more explicit. So there's not really much that's laughable or new here.

And:

anne's got it. ryan, if we were to limit ourselves to attending bars with no discriminatory gender-related policies, we'd end up staying at queer bars. even then, there are a good number of those that are incredibly misogynistic. serpent comes to mind. as for recognizing the implications of our actions, i was barely aware that it even was ladies' night at sully's. all i know is that genderfucking the place opened up lines of dialogue (in bathrooms, on bartops, on dance floors) that would previously have been inaccessible to both the normatively gendered and the queerly gendered.

gqb isn't about choosing spaces where everyone will be safe, or choosing spaces where we know the drinks we buy will not support events like the "best legs" contests that lodge bar keeps e-mailing me about. it's about the creation of a safe space, the challenging of discriminatory policies, and the interaction between the queer community and the straight community.

Perhaps that was the purpose of going to those bars, those lady's night genderfucks. That was always my thought, at least. What do you guys think? Lame or awesomeness, this new branching out and this new take?

If I'm great...

...it's because these people are in my life.

In my head, I imagine that all of you are wondering: well, Mr. Barry, if you're VD was so great, what made it so great? I'm glad you asked, because I'll be happy to tell you.

I woke up at 3am, because that's how I roll, to a phone call from a boy I met at the bar two weeks ago who proceeded to wonder, alloud, just how long ago we had met at Shooter's. Once he figured out who I was, and I figured out who he was, the conversation ended shortly with him saying, "Well, I'm going to bed," and a vague promise to respond if I texted him later with plans. Weird.

...to be followed by someone saying they were attracted to me online. Also weird. (I am also attracted to them, but I wonder if it will go anywhere, but there are other issues, no doubt.)

Blah. Made it through the day going stir crazy in my house, when study buddy Michelle picks me up for lunch and, well, studying. We had a ball, I learned everything possible about diabetes, and we moved on with our life. She put up with my insanity for a little while, and that's a great kindness on her part because I think I was mild cabin fevered.

I was all too itchy to leave again once I got home, got on the way early bus to head up to the reopening of Take the Cake, which I had promised @geekjames I would make an appearance at, and where I would be meeting darling @jddalton (I swear, stop changing your twitter name). Take the Cake was fabulous, and the party was hopping. Lots of great Northside folks, lots of amazing food laid out, lots of tasty treats for everyone. After I made a complete ass out of myself and introduced myself to @geekjames' partner (the actual baker), whom I thought was my twitter buddy, I settled in which some fabulous chocolates and deserts. I also learned that I'm not a big fan of dates. That's neither here nor there.

Definitely worth stopping in -- apparently they'll be changing their menu on a daily basis. Very chic. And it's a bakery! C'mon!

Note: This is why I don't do restaurant reviews.

Then we went onto New Stage Collective...

Maybe I wasn't smart enough to get Dead City, but it says something when I start dozing off midway through. It is the play you expect to see at an avant garde theatre -- brilliantly acted and completely unreadable. Not a big fan of esoteric art, really, as I think there should be something there to be understood for everyone. Despite the amazing work of the actors and actually really amazing blocking -- and a few times when it was funny -- it was theatre for the few, not theatre for the masses.

I don't know, maybe it's more in your taste than mine. Tom told me You'll get it later. Well, I could also get an STD later, but that doesn't mean I'm going to spend the time. 

Wow, that was a "bad review." I feel really guilty.

Then @jddalton and I headed down to Below Zero for some cocktails, where our crew grew from him, me, and Queen City Survey, to just him and me, then to himmeandAndrew, then himmeAndrewandAmyandhusband, then himmeAndrewAmyhusbandandVivica (you know how it goes). We had a blast. I even invited the boy who had called me at 3am to join us, but then sat off by himself on the pretense that "I don't want to intrude." Whatever. Off the list of interesting people, on the list of creepy people. We even tried to convince Julie and Katy out, but they were tucked in for their Valentine's Day.

So by the time we reached Shooter's, we were all quite tipsy (BZ was clearing out).

Me and Jeffery!

Blogger photo -- god I'm a nerd

...at Shooter's I met a cute boy who loves Jesus -- we all have our faults :-) j/k -- who had informed me that darling Joe Penno has left even the Pride Committee (what happened to him?). 

I got home somehow, but not after a quick rendez-vous with the cute boy from Shooter's.

And I tucked into bed, where I woke up the next morning in the same clothes I went out the night before.

Overall, the best Valentine's Day to date.

Thanks :-). You guys made it awesome.

Valentine's Day Plan

Jeffery and I have some hot hot hot plans for Valentine's Day, despite both of us being single these days.

First of all, we're going to this fabulous opening of Take the Cake (the newest fabulous restaurant and bakery at 4035 Northside thanks to James H-J). Doesn't this just sound delicious?

A REMINDER! Please mark your calendars to join us for our gala GRAND OPENING PARTY on Saturday, February 14th, from 6-10 PM. ALL ARE WELCOME!

You truly haven't lived until you've seen a bakery case rolling down Hamilton Avenue!

Come to the unveiling! Saturday night's menu is being planned - beef tenderloin and Vietnamese hoagies are just part of the feast. Work continues and is almost finished in the new space - new equipment is arriving, art is being hung, furniture is getting put in place, the sound system is installed, wifi is getting turned on, and we are getting more excited by the minute for our move to 4035 Hamilton Avenue in Northside! You haven't lived until you've seen a bakery case rolling down Hamilton Avenue!

We were already sweet, now we're sweet and more! Along with our wonderful sweets for which we've always been known, in the new cafe, our menu is expanding to include an array of savories. We'd love to see you for breakfast or lunch, or a cupcake and a cuppa joe!

And don't, of course, forget to join their facebook page.

And then we are going to go put in some "hard labor" to enjoy the theatrical stylings of New Stage Collective's Dead City, which was recently reviewed by the Enquirer as being amazing (though I can't find the review I just read yesterday).

Oh, and then, of course, drinkie-poos at Below Zero just around the corner. (Which, of course, you are allowed to join us at. Come get your picture taken with QueerCincinnati.com I only sign autographs for people who buy me a drink.)

You know, Valentine's Day may suck, but I am so looking forward to this year's! What are you doing?

Two things you may note from this post: 1) I have access again :-). 2) I don't have the access enough to check the responses to this week's QUESTION FOR FRIDAY. So, for now, you'll have to do without... until tonight, at least, when I get all tucked in for jammies Friday at casa de QueerCincinnati.

Oh, and in case you already haven't, please donate to me for the Heart Mini-Marathon and Walk. It's going to the American Heart Association, so the money's going to a good place, and I want to rock out my team (of which you'll notice I'm number 2 in my team in fundraising -- I want to be number 1, be-otches!!!!)

CinNKY Queer Blogger Carnival Updates!

Just a quick update on February's Queer Blogger Carnival. Last month, a few of us decided we wanted to answer a single question in blog format: Why Northside? Is Northside our "gay ghetto?"

So far, we've had five excellent responses (in alphabetical order)!

• Back2Stonewall.com
• Darren McCullah (Rainbow Cincinnati)
• JereKeys.com
• Penny Tration
• QueerCincinnati.com

I think, even if that's it for February (I'm hoping we'll here from one or two more), I think that's a pretty successful first month!!!

YEA BLOG CARNIVAL!

PS Any suggestions for next month? Oh, and Jere, this is totally the first time I'm adding you as a label. Weird. I thought you'd been a label for a long time. Hrm. Sorry 'bout that.

Oh and I'm totally fuming over my class this morning, which is why I'm at school and not studying for my test in ... er ... 45 minutes.

Worley Rodehaver Fund

Worley Rodehaver, long time publisher and editor of the Greater Cincinnati GLBT News, remains ill and his friends have set up a fun to help defray the cost of the medical treatment. 

From QuimBob (thanks for posting this!!!):

Worley Rodehaver, the long-time publisher of the Northsider/Uptown News newspaper, has suffered a serious illness that prevents him from publishing the February issues of his various community newspapers.

Because advertising sales are his only source of income, he will lose an entire month's revenue. To help him survive his current calamity, some of his friends have established the Worley Rodehaver Fund at North Sside Bank and Trust. If you would like to help Worley get back on his feet economically and defray his February personal expenses, you can do so by making a donation to the Fund. Checks should be made out to the Worley Rodehaver Fund and sent to:

North Side Bank and Trust
4125 Hamilton Ave.
Cincinnati, OH 45223
Attention: Don Beimesche

Cash contributions can be made directly to Mr. Beimesche at the Bank.
For more information: (513) 542-0958

If you get a chance, throw some cash his way. I have made fun of this particular paper for years now, but, I'll give him this, he's better than me :-). And he, you know, genuinely cares about the gay community.

I know, it's obnoxious when people really care isn't it?

Why Northside? (Blog Carnival Response)

I think most of the local queer bloggers have been invited... I know there are a couple that are still left out, but I think I'll be hitting them up on Facebook here very shortly.

I went ahead and posted my response to February's question on Rainbow Cincinnati, since I haven't blogged over there in a while. This is, as always, your preview:

It's so easy to trash something. It's so much easier to be a critic than a cheerleader, yea? Our very nature as gay men makes us prone to catty bitchiness and cold hearted back stabbing. We are gold medalists in the fine sport of destroying everything and everyone around us. It's what we do best. And I'm no exception.

In that vein, I love Northside. I tried to rewrite this blog about 100 times, each time criticizing and generally being myself. It appears, though, that it's not always as easy to complain as it is to speak well of something.

I'm not from Cincinnati. If you ask me what high school I went to, I say "Wando." I have, on more than one occasion, heard the response, "What, is that like in Indiana, or something?" I find it funny that 99% of this city, especially this queer city, can't imagine that there is a world outside of the greater Cincinnati metro. It plays a little into the mindset, I think, of us hating so easily on institutions like the great and mythical gay neighborhood of Northside.
(click here for the rest)

Make sure you check out all the other excellent content over yonder -- including Darren McCullough's fantastic blog (who also needs to be contacted... good reminder, thanks Barry).

Also, if I do this right, you'll see a list of other bloggers who have responded to February's Blog Carnival on the right side of this blog.

Kisses.

OHIO/CINNKY: GLSEN at 4th of July Northside Parade

So I'm WAY behind on shit this week. Much love to all of you for understand.

Marched with GLSEN (ahem-and HRC-ahem) in the Northside 4th of July Parade. Had a great time despite the rain!!!! Also got to meet 5chw4r7z and Don't Call Me Mrs. (even though she and I had actually worked together in the fairly recent past -- both added to blogroll) at the Festival afterwards. They were drinking coffee... Don't Call Me Mrs. explained: "We had beer earlier, now coffee... Beer, coffee, beer, coffee, beer... it works out!"

Well played, ma'am, well played.

PS... I will give the Pride people one thing: they know how to organize a festival better. Once the Parade ends, you should be able to just naturally move into a festival, not wait for them to set up. Though I really liked the separate stage at Hoffner Park with the beer in the little gazebo. It seems to work out well.

CINCY GAY SCENE: From Syndy re the New Bullfishes

Since I posted unfavorably about them, I thought it was only fair I post Syndy's rebuttal about the rumors from Myspace. I mean, I'll go back and check it out, but the rumor mill is going, and there seem to be some hot headed people speaking, ranging from us lowly regulars of the old Bullies to some very big names in the Cincinnati drag king rounds. It is kind of funny... Bullfishes re-opens and the lesbian drama returns to Northside. I LOVE it.

I mean, no doubt, I'll go back. I'll give them another try. In fairness, there were problems when they opened, and it was their first day open. So... Here's what Syndy had to say...

I HAVE BEEN HEARING ALOT OF RUMORS AND HAVE BEEN ASKED TO CLARIFY A FEW THINGS.


BULLFISHES IS NOT TURNING INTO A STRAIGHT BAR.


BULLFISHES EMPLOYEES ARE ALL OF LEGAL AGE.


BULLFISHES HAS ALWAYS BEEN A LESBIAN BAR & WILL CONTINUE TO BE.


BULLFISHES IS HOSTING A BOYS NITE ON TUESDAY NITES FOR THE GAY MALES.


BULLFISHES IS NOT TOLERANT OF FIGHTING & HAS INCREASED SECURITY TO ENFORCE THIS.


BULLFISHES WILL BE OPENING FOR HAPPY HOUR STARTING MONDAY 6/23 FROM 5P-7P WITH DRINK SPECIALS.


BULLFISHES IS OPEN ALL THIS WEEK @ 8 PM.


BULLFISHES HAS FREE WIFI FOR THOSE WHO WANT TO SURF THE NET.


BULLFISHES IS HOSTING A CUSTOMER APPRECIATION SPECIAL THIS FRI & SAT WITH NO COVER & DRINK SPECIALS.


BULLFISHES IS LOOKING FOR BARTENDERS, COCKTAILERS, & SECURITY PERSONNEL. CONTACT MYSELF OR SHANNON TO SCHEDULE AN APPT 513-979-4999 OR 513-289-9668.


BULLFISHES IS WILLING TO CLARIFY ANY RUMORS OR MISCONCEPTIONS THAT ANYONE MAY HEAR.


COME & ENJOY BULLFISHES WHILE WE ALL GROW TOGETHER.


THANKS
SYNDY@BULLFISHES
513-289-9668

(Please remember, Syndy posts in all caps. This is not a yelling post at all :-). She's actually very nice when you talk to her online. . . but she always chats in caps. Hrm. Maybe I should become security personell there. Queer Cincinnati here to secure your premises, maam.)

CINCY GAY SCENE: Bullfishes returns!!!

Many apologies for the quality of the image, but it went from AM's phone (whose car I was in at the time) to my phone (via text) to CF's phone (in Macon, GA) to my email. . . all so that I could post this this evening as many of you got the text message about this FABULOUS EVENT.

BULLFISHES IS REOPENING

And here's the lowdown as I've heard (my usual sources of gossip did not know anything, and were actually quite surprised about the situation... so I know I'm "breaking" news here... and I had to rely on the infamous lesbian posse for most of my information):

The bar was bought by an Atlanta man for his local daughter, a woman possibly by the name of Syndy (it was text messaged, and my phone was running out of charge, so I could not confirm the spelling or information about her). However, the reported manager is Brandy, who was a former bartender at the old Bullfishes. This is good-ish. I never developed much of a rapport with Brandy... in fact, I know almost nothing about her. I have a vague distaste for her, for some reason, but that may be about the vague distate I have about Bullfishes post- the Grey's Anatomy golden days when Sarah (or Amanda) poured us drinks and watched terrible medical dramedies. I may not, in fact, have anything negative about Brandy except that connection there. .. on the flip side, I have nothing good either.

My sources inform me that the bar has expanded, having bought the building just north, and that the New Bullfishes will open, probably, May 30th. This is a highlight of my crack team of lesbians who were apparently given a mini-tour today:

• the new bar (the north building) will feature 8 pooltables -- which brought much glee to my pool-playing posse -- and there will be a wall cut out from the pool tables to easily access the bar itself; there is no word on whether they will be painting the felt this time or not
• the old bar (the south building) will keep most of the same locations of items, including the actual bar location, though they will expand the serving area to three registers, which gets rid of a lot of problems we had under old management
• the stage has been expanded and functions now as the dancefloor in toto
• word is the urinal in the men's bathroom works ... permanently, this time
• the north building will have a patio -- for smokers, yea! -- which will give neighber BronZ a bit of a run as being the only mainstream gay bar on the strip that has a smoking patio, but they are being smarter and it will probably not be accessible to the outside world
• the upstairs section of the south building -- once the world of drag queens, drugs, and hot lesbian makeout sessions -- has been opened up to the general public and will serve as a bit of an observing area, much like at the old Pipeline, and I expect the drag queens, drugs, and hot lesbian makeout sessions will remain
• the new owner has bought several big screen plasma TVs -- for sports, the poss informs me -- rather than rely on thay giant crazy, blurry TV that they used to have
• there will be nights with cover charge; however, they will give you a free drink coupon on those nights to offset the cost of the cover
• the name and logo will remain the same, as they were purchased by the new owner

QueerCincinnati will be there on opening night, will you?

OHIO/CINNKY: Price Hill Girls

I really really like my neighborhood -- East Price Hill -- and I have great hope for it to come back as a nice place in the world. (I mean, really, it has some of the best home architecture in the city, if it can be a little small -- it just needs someone to take care of it.) But one of my coworkers at job #2 sent me and AM to this YouTube bit that I just can't stop laughing at. What's really funny is the guys are from CCU, which I consider a joke anyways.



What's really funny is they then started a website -- www.pricehillgirls.com -- which reportedly gives a portion of the money they make off MERCHANDISE back to the community. Their website says:

One of the goals we have by selling merchandise is to raise a certain amount of money from each item sold and then give it back to the community. Our plan is to take this raised amount and donate it to a different community outreach in the Price Hill area every month.

I don't know how old the website is, but it's getting some play on the media (here on WKRC-12) and in the local blogosphere (on the Daily Bellwether and at Nasty, Brutish, and Short for example). Apparently people are offended for any variety of reasons that people get offended at parodies. I just think it's funny, and the news can't report stuff like this "because it's there" -- since it involves "singing and dancing and ethnic movement" (quote from Legally Blonde: The Musical), I think people decided to make a controversy over nothing.

Regardless, I have no problems with Price Hill and have actually had more problems in Clifton and Northside, in terms of being approached, being put in bad situation, having my car broken into, than I ever have in Price Hill or the Westside. And I've even been to Lower Price Hill. The Mexican and Appalachian folk were nice down there.

If you want to see what YOU can do for MY community (and, more broadly, Cincinnati as a whole), go to our award-winning and highly active civic organization:

GAY STUFF: "Last Call" Article

I will blog about this later (after having already blogged once about it):

"Last Call" Op/Ed piece from the Boston Globe

Although there is clearly a link there as to why I found this article interesting, notice the point of the "long tail" business. IE: is the marketplace as a physical structure now disappearing??? ARe commercial centers at the end of their life?

CINCY GAY SCENE: Bar Closings

It's sad to say...

The Ohio Smoking Ban may have claimed its first victim. My dear, dear, favorite lesbian bar in the world, Bullfishes, is, indeed, closed. Donna was a dear friend and used to be my landlord. It is sad to see it go. What makes it even worse was the suddenness of it. No one knew it was happening, she let it go peacefully without a goodbye party.

I spent many Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday nights there. Rarely there on Fridays or Saturdays, but I will give it up for that fabulous Pink Dress Show back in February that raised $750 for Breast Cancer charities.

*sigh* It's sad to see you go, Bullfishes.

Also, per the QCityNews blog (http://qcitynews.blogspot.com/2007/11/northside-gay-and-lesbian-bars-for-sale.html), it appears another one of my favorite hangouts is for sale, the Serpent. Listing price at a million dollars. Now, I've had an AWFULLY good time at the Serpent, and I really hope it will be around at LEAST for their fabulous New Year's Eve clothing optional party, but I don't think (nor does QCity) that it is work $1m, even with the rentable space upstairs. The $200,000 price sounds reasonable, but Anthony and Ford have put years and years and years of their life into that business, I'm sure there is a huge personal attachment to it. I'm almost afraid that, should the business change hands, the cops will raid the place like crazy and close down what every one goes on at Serpent for good... which, btw, would ultimately destroy the business and destroy the Northside gay scene.

Where does that leave BronZ? Or, Club BronZ (I really do need to clean up my "labels")? Well, reported to my ear from one of the best bartenders in town -- a slight uptick in business. Of course, I'm sure much of that is due to the fabulously sociable attitude Brad and John have put out there, along with the fantastic work of DJ Waves in the production of the multiple karaoke nights. It doesn't hurt, also, that it's one of the few bars in town where you can sit at a bar and have a cigarette, there on the back patio. (The owner of Little Bit Bar was scathing in her attack of their patio, as it is really kind of enclosed, but open still. Please, let us just have one place to smoke and drink. You non-smokers have enough places in town.)

See, everyone is driving across the river. I have been in Rosie's and Yadda a few times, but they have been jumping since the smoking ban occurred over here. It really annoys me that the rest of the state, and the locals, can be so callous towards local business. After all, what Cincinnati really needs, is another reason not to hang out in it.

Has anyone wondered how long this Dock/Adonis thing can go one? Rumors are flying as to which one will go first. My money, actually, is on Adonis. I think they would have been long gone had it not been for Penny Tration and her amazing abilities as the most fabulous queen in town. Of course, I would not have put money on Bella Dolce, but she seems to be holding her own. I always liked her personally, I would have never thought she could handle that big of a venue, but she's proven herself quite well on a microphone.

And finally, Below Zero? Seriously. I don't understand the crowd. Do we need two uppity gay bars in town? Universal Grille is bad enough; I've not even been to Below Zero and I already hate it. :-) But I'll go soon, Nigel, and give you a fairer review, I promise.

CINCY GAY SCENE: Out in the City

Thanks Darren.

I am good friends with "Darren M.," well good bar-friends. He and I always seem to have the most bizarre conversations at the local bars that we frequent, whether it be BronZ or the Serpent or Bullfishes (RIP) or... have we seen each other at On Broadway? Whatever. He writes a great column for the local gay rag, QCityNews (http://www.qcitynews.com/), and I love him for it. Secretly, I'm friends with him so that he'll mention me in his column because I'm a publicity whore.

Of all things to finally write about me with...

http://www.qcitynews.com/1007darrenm.html

Thank you Darren, for making sure the whole city knows that I have "tales of [my] own sexual appetites and explorations." :-)

I'm not mad; I just think it's funny that of all the things I've talked to him about -- gay social reform, politics, interactions, bars, etc. This is the one thing he finally writes about. Hey, any press is good press.

Thanks Darren.

GAY STUFF: The Mainstreaming of Gay Culture

Listen Here

(Because I need to take ownership of my own feelings, I will preface this by saying: I hate that I am on the part of the NYU prof who says "queer is the new gay," implicating that there are people that are trying to keep gay as different just because it is and no longer represents a separation from American culture. I have my own fear that, to reference another interviewee, I may be, or want to be, Will in Will & Grace).

I think it's fascinating, the sociological implications of marriage. Tucker Carlson (conservative commentator on CNN Headline News) says he is pro-gay marriage because it's "civilizing." I think we are starting to see that happen here, but it's similar to what I have been saying for a while ... and Penny Tration pointed out the same thing in her blog (here -- go to her blog, there are two articles in a row) based off a Yahoo report about the death of gay ghetto's like WeHo, Boystown, Castro, and the Village (locally, Northside).

Gay is passe. (A sharp division from "gay is good" in previous generations) It's common now, and it's on the forefront of American politics but not in a cutthroat sort of way, more of a "tying up loose ends" sort of way.

Rather than fighting for visibility and recognition and the simple right to be, we are fighting just to make sure that our rights are guaranteed and for marriage -- marriage! The penultimate of heteronormativity. Don't get me wrong, I support the right to marry for anyone ... and, later, the right to divorce. But it's telling of where we are.

The commentator makes the point that gay pride parades are less about drag queens and "extremes" these days, but more about fathers with strollers.

How, unusual. We are no longer counter-culture in most sectors of the world ... we're, mainstream. (I knew the world was falling apart when a marketing firm found out that our "purchasing power" and our "market share" was just under that of the entire African-American population. I wish I could still find that link.)

A long time ago, I read Daniel Harris's The Rise and Fall of Gay Culture and was disgusted, at the time, of the idea that this idealized world that I had heard about -- fabulous clubs, flashy drag queens, counter-cultural movement, sexual liberation -- was falling apart. After all, that's what I wanted. The more I delved, however, the more I found it to be true.

All those wonderful things have given way to a mainstream society with an unspoken "underbelly" upon which all these other things happen. (I will never forget the day a friend of mine said to me in a gay community meeting "We don't talk about sex here, that's not what we're about" -- I don't think he knows I still carry those words with me.) Oh sure, the sexual liberation exists... that is, we can be sexually liberated behind closed doors... just don't talk about it or discuss it, or even mention that we have sex.

It's all very suburban, to my mind.

Are we like everyone else? No, and that's what makes us wonderful. I think I am beginning to understand what the black community went through in the 70s-90s. "Now we have the rights, but we still want to be ourselves." It makes sense to me.

Gay culture, like black culture, was borne out of oppression. It is from oppression springs acitivism (hence, why we don't see ACTUP or Queer Nation anymore).

We are becoming a true part of this American Life... assimilated, mainstream, consumerist, and armchair lobbyists.

I just don't hope we start losing our culture because of it.

Oh, and to the couple on the interview that says "here in suburbia, you can be radical every day." I would like to retort: it takes less courage to simply put a middle-class, suburban, white (not that there's anything wrong with that) face on homosexuality than it did to come out when your life was threatened. Sorry, you aren't no Harvey Milk or Harry Hay.

...and I bet you don't even know who they are.

CINCY GAY SCENE: Lixgood

What is the state of drag in the city? Is it, possibly, truly, dead?

Last night, friend AA and I made it up to Bullfishes in Northside ("just a drink or two" turned into a 230am night -- sometimes I am glad for bar cut off times). Expecting the usual Friday night fair, including lesbian drama and some bad hip hop, we debated going in as we discovered there was a show from a group we had never heard of before -- the Lixgood Family. Bolstered by the fact that there was no cover, which always makes me feel like I'm drinking for free, we headed in expecting to be disappointed.

The Lixgood Family was good. ... real good. To start off, I think it is an interesting societal commentary that most drag king and female-based troupes are modeled after the family (complete with "mom" and "dad"), whereas drag queen and male-based troupes are more hierarchical ("show director" "hostess" or "emcee" followed by everyone else). I think the family approach lends itself to the show as if it were an invitation to the participants to experience "family time."

But the performances were awesome; the Lixgood Family was there having a good time. While choreographed, it was relaxed and easy and fun. It was clear that they were up there just having a good time.

That simple idea always gets me off.

And the SEXY voluptuous vixens -- Miss B. Haven, Silhouette, and Catalicious -- were amazing as they rocked the stage. I love lesbians for many reasons, but they always seem to appreciate curviness in a woman.

The show excited me, and it's rare that I am excited by drag anymore.

Entertainment should be entertaining, both to the entertained and the entertainers. (Four different forms of the same word in the same sentence, grammatically correct if repetitive... BOOYAH!)

On a side note, I think black sexuality and gender performance is developing along a fascinating trend. Black drag queens have long been a part of the movement, and fought at Stonewall. But I'm curious to know whether what I saw is "things to come" or simply a fluke.

I'm booking the Lixgood Family, btw, for September. I'll keep you updated.