GAY STUFF: Time to stop doing Tina!

HA! Appropriate for our *550th* post!!!! (via Joe. My. God.) Yes, mom, and that's Kristin Chenoweth...

See more Kristin Chenoweth videos at Funny or Die

GAY STUFF: Top 10 LGBT Movies

On the back of both Darren and Juliet & Juliette posting blogs about their favorite movies, I thought I'd follow suit...

These two lists were extraordinarily hard to come up with. Mainly because, when asked, it's hard to really think of any movies at all. So, we used the idea of "movies that stuck with me." I'm not saying these are the most incredible movies of all times, but they are movies that have left me with something, or are movies that I can watch over and over and over again. I'll note some obvious missing pics on both lists.

Also, neither of them are in any particular order.

Top Ten LGBT Films of All Time

1) Happy Together (1997, Japan)-- This was the first strictly gay movie I had ever seen, and I picked it up randomly from the "return" bin while I worked at the library at Miami. The reason it stuck with me so long is because it was the first time I had ever seen anal sex handled in a relationship on a film and they made it looked... well, almost natural. I thought that was neat.

2) Better than Chocolate (1999, Canada)-- The only lesbian-exclusive film on the list. It's cute, it's fun, and I love the basis for the title in the movie (ie, orgasms are better than chocolate). It's a cutesy little film from Canada, but it talks about some interesting and strange issues, including censorship and trans-relationships.

3) The Broken Hearts Club (2000, USA) -- It's a really really cute movie, and really sweet and I make recommendations to a lot of straight friends to watch it because I think it talks about the whole "newbie" syndrome quite effectively. It's a little foray in the 20-something gay adolescence we get to go through, and you'll notice (if you know me) that I get a lot of my "gay lingo" from this movie. And there are two great quotes that have stuck with me:

A lot of people ask me when I first knew I was gay. Fact is, I don't know. But what I do remember, what I can recall, is when I first realized it was Okay: It was when I met these guys. My friends.

Everyone can't be straight. Everyone can't be beautiful. Everyone can't be the same, Patrick. Some people are just gay and average. We're the strongest I think

Besides, it has a line-up of characters that you'll spend you're time going -- I know that actor. What's funny is, if you're gay, you'll spend your time going -- I know that guy.

4) The Birdcage (1996, USA) -- I just always have to watch it when its on. I also once had a client who would sit and watch it with me every time we heard it was coming on TV. I really enjoyed watching it with him. It's cute, it's funny... but it also has a lot of really special memories for me.

5) To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar (1995, USA) -- Patrick Swayze, John Leguizamo, and Wesley Snipes in drag... how could you go wrong??? Besides, with lines like "I got more legs than a bucket of chicken," this was destined to be a campy classic.

6) Connie and Carla (2004, USA) -- I watch this movie over and over and over again. I've nearly destroyed the CD. It's not quite the drag classic that, say, To Wong Foo or Priscilla, Queen of the Desert are, but it's still wonderful. And I love Toni Colette. End of story.

7) But I'm a Cheerleader (1999, USA) -- This was fresh in people's mind when I went to college, and it's one of the first DVD's I bought. It's really sweet and ultimately campy as hell. RuPaul out of drag -- that's funny. Sweet little love story, and it's done in an appropriately bizarre way.

8) Unveiled (2005, France) -- Ironically, I saw this at Outreels, our now-defunct LGBT movie festival. It's beautifully done, extraordinarily poignant, and I'm not sure why I liked it as much as I did. I will say that I left the movie theatre feeling uplifted by the whole showing, and it made me very happy to have watched it.

9) Camp (2003, USA) -- Don't laugh at me. This turned out to be an amazingly on-point movie about kids at a theatre camp. The music is excellent, the cast handles everything with grace, and, even though there are moments where you're like "jesus, these low-budget indie films," you got to hand it to them to make such a great, watchable movie from almost nothing. And to have it so widely watched with almost no publicity.

10) I'm throwing three down for the last one because they are all short documentaries:

10a) Meth: The Movie (2006, USA by Todd Ahlberg) -- About meth and gay men. I still reference a line to people who seek a geographical cure to their addiction from this movie: "I landed in Miami to get off the meth... you know, as soon as I used up everything I had on me."
10b) Hooked (2003, USA by Todd Ahlberg) -- About gay men and online hooking up. I had forgotten about this one when I made this list, but it does well talking about the subject matter.
10c) The Gift (2003, USA by Louise Hogarth) -- About gay men actively seeking HIV infection. The director handles the topic matter amazingly well. It is worth a watch.

And I do want to give an honorable mention to...

11) Trick (1999, USA) -- People are going to laugh at me for putting this on the list, mainly because it's usually listed as "typical gay movie" more often than not. And it is. But it's its typicalness that makes it excellent and makes it interesting to watch. And the whole monologue by Tori Spelling in it was darling. Besides, I watch it over and over and over again.

There are clearly some things left off that people are going to go WTF on: And the Band Played On (it translated poorly from book to movie), Philadelphia (I've never seen the whole thing, and I don't know if I'm interested enough to), Priscilla, Queen of the Desert(loved it, but it's not in my "favorites" list), Rocky Horror Picture Show(I can't watch it over and over -- I can only really watch it when you're in the theater), Eating Out(despite having hot naked guys, it didn't have the same ring to me as Trick did), Trembling Before G-d(great documentary, but didn't leave me the same way some of the others did... more of "oh, this is interesting" as opposed to "WOW"), Small Town Gay Bar(shockingly, never seen it), Boys Don't Cry(I had the opportunity to buy it for like $7 and didn't -- that should tell you something), and Angels in America(don't crucify me when I tell you I have never seen it).

GAY STUFF: Sex and Crystal Meth

From gay.com of all places...

Dear Gay Sexpert,
I am a recovering meth user. My rehab experience was really helpful, but very anti-sex. To be honest, the best sex I ever had was on crystal meth. Sobering up has trashed my sexual desire and I am fearful that sex will never be the same.
Frustrated and Fearful

I've been reading the different studies focusing on sexual shame and crystal meth -- which, by the way, are few. In fact, Dr. David Wohlsifer states in his study on the subject, "Little is mentioned about sexual issues beyond identifying crystal users as suffering from a sexual addiction and being sexually compulsive. The literature [research] is devoid of suggestions or efforts aimed at helping develop healthy sexual beliefs and a meaningful and healthy sex life as well as address the issues of sexual trauma that may have occurred during crystal use."...

Turning again to Dr. Wohlsifer's study, he found that his gay subjects had many shame-based beliefs about their sexuality prior to their initial use of crystal and that the use of the drug eradicated those same feelings of shame. It created for the user a kind of "alternate sexual reality," one where a user felt sexy, horny, confident, adventurous, uninhibited and affectionate with a sense of belonging and camaraderie with the other men he had sex with. With that kind of shame-free sexual euphoria (and the addictive chemical begging for more), of course he would feel compelled to take meth over and over again...

I know sex is not the only reason people use crystal, but re-shaming a recovering user by telling him "Just say no to sex" could certainly set the stage for a relapse. "To respond to the community health problems that Crystal use presents, it is essential to understand that Crystal use is a mechanism that eradicates sexual shame." So let's provide ways for recovering users (and everyone, quite frankly) to stimulate a positive sexuality -- one without shame. My practice focuses on this need by providing information, workshops, and consultations specifically for those wanting to decrease their sexual shame.

Interesting, interesting, interesting.

Really interesting column over at gay.com about gay men and health.

GAY STUFF: Life or Meth

"HARM REDUCTION accepts and allows the continued and unabated use of harmful substances and the loss of people cannot be recovered. At best, harm reduction is a halfway measure and half-hearted approach that invites deceit."~ Alison Kogut [Deputy Press Secretary, The US Office of National Drug Control Policy]

This is from the or Life or Meth website -- the originator of the famous "Before and After" pictures:

Now, Life or Meth takes a very hardline anti-drug stance. It only makes sense that they would, and I'm not holding that against them, in fact, I applaud that situation. Meth is bad.

However, they, also, appear to be against harm reduction. There are two forms of "prevention" methods when it comes to drugs and HIV: harm and risk reduction. Harm reduction means taking actions to reduce the potential harm a given behavior can have -- condoms are harm reduction, clean needles are harm reduction. Risk reduction, meanwhile, means getting rid of the behavior all together -- abstinence.

Upon a question from one of the sites visitors, they pretty dramatically tear apart the idea of harm reduction in meth use -- ie, recreational use.

I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. When working in HIV/AIDS, harm reduction is the only thing that makes sense, as asking people to give up sex forever is pretty much impossible. But with drug use, I don't know.

My own crystal meth use -- and this, mind you, is one of the first times I've talked about it on a semi-public stage -- was, I think, unique when it comes to the more typical experience in the world. Cincinnati has not been hit that hard with "tina" yet -- rather, the crystal we do have arrives via a burgeoning crystal scene in Columbus and Indianapolis. It's really hard to find here. And that's a good thing. But, as Mark Twain tells us, give it time. Per our unofficial city motto: "If the apolocalypse ever comes, I want to be in Cincinnati as it's always 10 years behind." The new crystal scene really began around 2000, and, I've noticed, the demand for it growing. Quickly. Supply always follows. It's the beauty of American capitalism.

But is there room for harm reduction in a crystal world???

I don't know. I feel from everything I am that there should be, but I am starting to see what it can do and where it can take you. And perhaps there's no room for recreational use of anything. But I'm afraid I'm just placing my own feelings and own experiences onto other people.

They say I'm feeling guilty. That I represented for so many people a life and a person who was different, and found myself the same as every body else. Maybe I am guilty... but, today, I did nothing wrong.

And maybe that's all I need.

Update: In the interest of honesty, I will say this, as well. To this day, it would be hard for me to say no to this particular activity. And I'm sad to say that it was the limitation of cost and availability that kept me from doing it more. I know I would have done it more, and I'm sure I would do it again. Unlike other things that have developed into problems in the past, I have no negative memories of it... and that knowledge, and knowing that one day it will be offered again, scares me a bit.