Slutty Gang Bang!!!!

Ha! Did the headline catch you? I seriously am perusing the web this morning, and I wanted to bring you two blogs written by maybe one of my newest favorite authors in the blogosphere, not necessarily for her writing style, but for her topics. Her name is Chantelle Austin, and her blog is all about sex, sexuality, love, and relationships... from the point of view of someone who has experienced enough to be able to write intelligently about the topics.

The first piece came via the @sexgenderbody Twitter feed: "Is being a slut a bad thing?"

We’re programmed to believe that being promiscuous, or a slut is a bad thing and what is that really? It’s a judgment, damn it! The one thing I pride myself on NOT doing. Coming from someone who works hard to accept others as they are, I was judging myself! I had come to the conclusion that I wasn’t a slut because I was selective about whom I slept with but what does that say about people who aren’t selective? And is that really “wrong”?...

And why does being a slut have to be a bad thing? Are they not just experiencing all that sex and life has to offer? Some people love chocolate, and they’ll eat any sort of chocolate they come across, does that make them a chocolate slut? Hell yes, but is that a bad thing? No! So why is it that some people get labelled as a slut and the connotation is that it’s a bad thing, almost an insult to be called one?

I mean, I was kind of like, "OK, that's not such a bad point, but it's one I've heard before, and how is this special," until I delved further and read a previous column she had written that spurred this particular piece of work: "Am I a Slut If I Participate in a Gang Bang?"

I might be a swinger and engage in sex with people other than my husband but that doesn’t mean I don’t have standards, self respect or professionalism. And it's no excuse for others to treat me with any less respect or manners either so I'll let them know so...

All behaviours of a self respecting woman in my book.

I have recently been criticized for some of my own personal behaviors, and, perhaps they would cause some hackles to rise, but, honestly, I have no problems with them. No guilt -- mostly -- and no worries -- mostly. Sure, I've messed up and made poor decisions, and sometimes my decisions have been overly tainted by alcohol and not by my own libido...

...but it was refreshing to hear a straight woman thinking the same thing I am, and feel empowered by her choices rather than demeaned.

Thoughts on Doctors

Yesterday, the an advisory committee to the FDA recommended for the removal of Vicodin and Percocet from sale in the United States due to the acetaminophen (Tylenol) component. Acetaminophen overdoses are directly related to acute liver failure, and long-term use is linked to other liver issues.

At the Emergency Department, we are not unfamiliar with overdoses on a variety of issues, acetaminophen included. We are not also unfamiliar with people pleading -- pleading -- for painkillers, usually vicodin or percocet. See, they are relatively inexpensive and innocuous as compared to the more powerful ones like dilaudid or fentanyl. Why we don't see more people begging for morphine tablets escapes me, but I have no doubt it's due to the sheer obivousness of morphine in comparison.

Which brings me to my point...

As we are speaking, right now, a new class of doctors is arriving in Cincinnati for their very first shifts as MD's. Sure, they've had their time in clinical rotations, but today they begin the arduous process of doctorin' up people, and they will get to learn the lessons and make the decisions that so many have before them. They will get to learn the difference between a grimace of real pain and the grimace of a needy 20 year old dislocating his shoulder regularly for the sole purpose of obtaining pain medication. They will get to hear the crazy tales -- the STD check who brings both his pregnant baby mama and his pregnant girlfriend in to get tested -- and they will become familiar with our frequent fliers.

At the same time, a class of doctors is leaving. I have fought with these doctors and become friends with them. I have learned to like them, and I've learned to hate them. Though my job does not near approximate the nurses roles, and my judgment on who is good and who is bad is slightly skewed to who refers to me the most, I have a pretty good and I am sad to see them go. But it also reinforces a sharp divide within the hospital.

We are a team together, working towards health, working towards homeostasis. However, as doctors move from R-1 (first years) to R-2 (second years), or as the R-4's leave, or as the R-1's enter, the doctors are still the doctors in a class in and amidst themselves. They know each other best. And the nurses know each other best. And the other services are so dwindled and separated out as to not be able to say that we really know each other. Thus, these new doctors will learn from all of us, and we will learn from them. They will take with them, as they move onto bigger and better things, the memories of our combined efforts. They will remember the patients we diagnosed together, and the crazy patients we held down together.

But they will move on, confident in their ability to cure. For my part, I will be part of "this cool program we had during my internship;" and the nurses will likely fall into one general lump of people known simply as "the nurses at my last job," individual faces and names forgotten and left behind. (See, when a nurse leaves, it is known, and we say good-bye a little and hug but there are a lot of them and they pass on; when someone lower leaves, it is not known and likely forgotten more often than it is remembered.)

I guess I'm just a little sad this morning, seeing work friends depart and realizing that they were never, perhaps, my friends. I was just part of their learning experience.

In the next month, I will teach the newbies about HIV and sexual health. They will look to me for answers about behaviors they had never heard about, and they will ask me questions about my program, my experience, and some snippet of neat information they missed over the newswire. Or, they will use me -- well, all of us in the Emergency Department -- to supplement their knowledge and to carry out their great and wonderful work, and we will support them. We will help them become better doctors.

Then, on their final day years later, they will look at me over their guitars and say, "I'm just ready to get the fuck out of here," and forget to say good-bye when they go and never acknowledge the part we all played in making them, them.

And I wonder who I will say good-bye to, and who will guide me, much like these doctors in a class all their own did for each other.

In a weaker moment, I might say that I just want to be remembered, that I want to matter in some way. I wonder, for those doctors already gone, if I did.

TEN ON TUESDAY

Ten on Tuesday is a feature I run, well, whenever I feel like it. I post ten things on various subjects and invite you -- fellow bloggers and friends -- to post as well on the same topic. This week, I'm feeling a little bit of love for this city we call home, and so...

TEN ON TUESDAY:

Ten Places You Take People When They Come Into Town

1. Any Local Festival -- What else are you going to do with your friends except drink and eat and watch some amazing entertainment?

2. City Parks -- We have a lot of them, and they are, by far, some of the most amazing I have ever been in. Mt. Echo, Mt. Adams, Devue, even Burnet Woods -- all with views and neat little hideaways to enjoy nature amidst the city's sounds.

3. For Chili -- I'm actually a little bit of a Gold Star man, myself, but I've had far more positive reviews with Camp Washington and Skyline.

4. To Newport on the Levee -- You may crucify me now, if you so desire, but it's nice to sit in the Barnes & Noble porch and look at the skyline of the city over the river. That, and a movie is alwasy the safe bet when taking guests out.

5. To the Top of Carew Tower -- Because you kinda have to, don't you? I mean, it's a requirement, to take them to one of the highest points with an observation deck.

6. My House -- But that's a different type of guest.

7. Scenic Home Tour -- Through Northside, Clifton, Avondale, Covington, Over-the-Rhine, and Price Hill. I absolutely love the housing stock, and I think it's something to be adored and amazed at, if only we all were better stewards of our history.

8. Hustler Store -- Preferably in Mason, but that, again, is another type of guest and one that has a great sense of humor. It's part of our culture here, seriously.

9. Purple People Bridge -- If I can manage the time, a trip through Sawyer Point and across the bridge to #5 usually leaves people awe struck.

10. Fountain Square -- Again, because you kinda have to, don't you?

I know, there's probably nothing surprising on the list, but, I'll be honest, I have had a very small circle of existence since I stopped driving and haven't had much opportunity to explore as far afield as I would like.

So, there you go. As always, post your list in the comments, or a link to your own blog post.

New Loss for Lt. Dan Choi

In the most high-profile case of its like, Lt. Dan Choi, an Arabic interpreter in the National Guard, was recommended for discharge yesterday from the military by a panel of four officers due to breaking the infamous Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy. So, he's out, and now he's out.

From the MSNBC story:

Lt. Dan Choi would be the first New York National Guard member discharged for violating the so-called "don't ask, don't tell" policy, said Lt. Col. Paul Fanning, a spokesman for the New York Army National Guard.

Choi, a combat veteran, said it amounted to firing him "for nothing more than telling the truth about who I am."

"I'm a leader. A setback is an opportunity to keep fighting, and I'm going to do that through my actions," said Choi, who on Sunday was a celebrity grand marshal in San Francisco's Gay Pride Parade.

Choi says he will go on to fight the decision, but it is unlikely that he will win due to the recent setback on the federal level on Don't Ask, Don't Tell where the Supreme Court refused to hear a case.

My suggestion? Let's expand the 1964 Civil Rights Act -- as suggested by the group The Power -- to include sexual orientation and gender identity/expression, and then move on to court cases. We need some kind of law on our side first, right? Seems reasonable, yea?

Thanks to Wolfie at Back2Stonewall for the heads up on this video of Keith Olbermann's take on DADT:

About Damn Time

And, so, Al Franken has been declared the victor in the long, 8-month battle for the junior Senate seat in Minnesota, and he had these words to say:

"When you win an election this close, you know not one bit of effort went to waste. The way I see it, I'm not going to Washington to be the 60th Democratic senator, I'm going to Washington to be the second senator from Minnesota."

I have no idea what he really means by that statement except to say that I'm sure Hillary said something similar back when she got the Senate seat in New York. Political aspirations what?

The Democrats now control 60 seats in the Senate -- a filibuster proof majority -- which is as disturbing as it is exciting, but it also proves that Minnesotans love their outsider politicians, and 312 people in that state may be thinking, "What the fuck did I do on election day?"

Norm Coleman conceded and, I wonder, if that is, officially, the end of the 2008 election.

Web Site Story

Julie Niesen of Wine Me, Dine Me, Cincinnati posted this on her Facebook, and then I saw it on Neatorama, and I watched it both times and laughed both times, so, I figured, I'd share it.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

The internet ... to the tune of the worst musical ever, West Side Story.

Democratic Candidate Fundraiser Raided

OK, after the bizarre story of Texas police raiding a Fort Worth gay bar and arresting drunk people, we have another story out of Encinitas, California, a suburb just north of San Diego. At the home of a lesbian couple, Congressional hopeful, Francine Busby, was holding a fundraiser until the cocktail hour was raided by eight sheriff's cruiser... and a helicopter.

Why? Apparently, a noise complaint.

Here's the story from Sign On San Diego:

The party was Friday night in the 1300 block of Rubenstein Avenue, the home of Shari Barman, a Busby supporter.

It ended with Barman, 60, being arrested and jailed on suspicion of battery on a peace officer, and resisting, delaying and obstructing a peace officer.

Pam Morgan, 62, a Rancho Santa Fe resident and one of the guests, also was arrested and taken to the Encinitas Sheriff's Station, where she was cited for resisting, delaying and obstructing a peace officer.

Other partygoers were doused with pepper spray, and seven deputies, a sergeant and a helicopter were dispatched to the neighborhood of expensive homes.

Busby, Barman, guests at the party and a Sheriff's Department spokesman provided varying accounts of what happened.

Busby, 58, a Democrat seeking the 50th Congressional District seat in 2010, said she will meet with Sheriff Department officials today to find out who made what she called a “phony” noise complaint.

The Sheriff's Department received the complaint at 9:33 p.m. from a man who said someone was talking on a loudspeaker and a crowd was cheering, keeping him awake.

From about 8 to 8:30 p.m., Busby said, she used an amplified microphone to talk to guests, whom she described as middle-aged supporters.

During Busby's speech, Barman said in a statement yesterday, a man on the property behind her house shouted “disparaging remarks” about Busby and gay people. Barman lives in the house with her partner, Jane Stratton, 55.

After her talk, Busby said, people chatted.

“It was a quiet home reception, disrupted by a vulgar person shouting obscenities from behind the bushes,” Busby said.

Neighbors on three sides of the house said yesterday there wasn't much noise from the party. One man said he slept through it.

“We didn't hear anything until the sheriff came, with eight patrol cars and a helicopter,” said Natasha Cortina, 43, who said she and her two children were home with the windows open.

Hugh Elliott, 53, who lives closest to the house, said he heard a deputy's radio, then arguing, coughing, crying and finally everyone spilling outside as the smell of pepper spray drifted over his back fence.

There is some indication that there may have been resistance to arresting by the owner of the home, but certainly not enough to justify a helicopter and pepper spray. Especially since the hostess was 62 years old. Seems... excessive?

Coming Up in Queer Cincinnati...

Cincinnati Equinox!!!

I feel awful, I was supposed to email George from Metronation, the mastermind behind the event, but I never did, but I wanted to make sure you heard about it.

Cincinnati Equinox comes out of no where and promises to be one of the highlights of Cincinnati's queer calendar. No, organizers are quick to point out, it has nothing to do with Pride and it certainly does not replace the event. Rather, Equinox promises to be different and special in its own right. When I heard about it, probably at Below Zero Lounge one evening, I was a little taken aback. My thoughts are probably your own: can it be successful? Well, if George's assurances are true, and he's talking that there are literally hundreds (maybe over a thousand at this point) of people bussing in from out of town for a big old gay party at... FOUNTAIN SQUARE.

That's right, folks, the Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, recently reformed out of the ashes of the Queen City Careers Association, has teamed up with Fountain Square to put on the party of the year this coming weekend! How they did it on July 4th weekend, I'll never know, but you can be sure I'm going.

Here is the event line-up according to the website:

Friday, July 3rd: Welcome Party, 10pm-Close at various local bars

Friday, July 4th: Equinox Festival, 11am-4pm on Foutain Square

Friday, July 4th: Equinox Ball, 10pm-2am, Grand Ballroom of the Millenium Hotel

Friday, July 4th (ish): Afterhours Breakfast, 1:30am-4am, Millenium Hotel

Trust, kids, it's gonna be fun and I will be sure to update you later in the week as soon as I find out the various wonderful things all of the Cincinnati queers have planned. I probably won't be making it to the ball -- it's far too much for this poor queer to attend -- but you can be sure you'll see me out at the bars. *Checks little black book* Who's lucky enough to be my date that evening?

Oh, and after my interview with CityBeat around Pride, I got a lot of questions of how can large queer events really become political and change hearts and minds of Cincinnati and our neighbors. I think the Equinox founders answered it best from their mission statement:

The purpose of the event is to help heal the image of Cincinnati in the National LGBT Community. Although Article XII has been repealed, Cincinnati is still viewed by other cities as homophobic and unwelcoming to the GLBT Community. On any given weekend a large portion of our city's own community leave for the nearby cities of Columbus, Louisville, Dayton, Indianapolis and Lexington.

The Greater Cincinnati Gay Chamber of Commerce believes that by hosting Equinox, we can show the changing climate towards the gay and lesbian community in Cincinnati, therefore improving the attitudes of our own community, as well as, show other cities that times have changed in Cincinnati and we welcome them with open arms, as our city is a great place to shop, play and live.

And don't worry, word is that Cincinnati Guerrilla Queer Bar is very much working with Equinox planners for a huge party that night.

Great Cincinnati GLBTQ Youth Summit

A mainstay of all queers' calendars, the youth summit has now opened up for registration. I'll cover a little more later, but they are also looking for additional help and worshop proposals. Do you think there's a demand for "blogging for queers" workshop? Hrm. Maybe I'll put my two cents in. Check out the website here.

Super Secret Event

Well, for another week. Just put July 17th, 7pm-10pm on your calendar, kids. You'll be doing some good for the world, and having a great time in the process. Promise, promise.

MapHIV.org

A new atlas has popped up on the interweb, an interactive map bring the HIV/AIDS epidemic in the US into easy-to-see and simple graphics for easy comparison. Granted, it takes a little digging to get the detailed information, but it's an excellent exercise in comparisons, especially regionally.

Overall, Ohio tends to fair green, meaning that we tend to have lower overall HIV infection rates (per 100,000 of the population) than some parts of the country. Hamilton County, as well, tends to fair better than either Cleveland or Columbus. The picture above represents one of the higher rates you can find in HamCo -- eclipsed only by our AIDS rates amongst African Americans.

As a whole, the South is drowning in HIV/AIDS, outside of those traditional epicenters of urban America, a fact that shouldn't surprise anyone, but always seems to. A CNN story links the disparity to stigma, lack of testing sites, a decentralized population, lack of HIV-knowledgeable healthcare professionals, and difficulties in education. Georgia tends to do the worst.

Check it out -- MapHIV.org. Worth a few minutes of your time today. It's produced by the National Minority Quality Forum, an organization dedicated to making sure minority populations receive the highest level of service in the US healthcare system.

Avenue Q Closing

I got this from a brief perusal of PerezHilton's website, and I wanted to just make a quick point about using the man as a source before I continue:

I think Mr. Hilton is a silly little man with more readership than good sense. I think he is an attention whore, and I think it's absurd that we would somehow give credence for a celebrity blogger as an actual celebrity. I think he's hateful and mean spirited. But all those things describe most bloggers. More recently, Mr. Hilton decided to take his own hypocrisy to a new level, going to so far as to refer to will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas as a faggot, because, according it him, it was "the worse possible thing that thug would ever want to hear." GLAAD was right in condemning him for his actions, especially because, being open and queer, you'd think it would ring as an absurdity for the man who brought down Carrie Prejean for being against same-sex marriage would then launch into homophobic vitriole for the sole reason that it was hateful. In short, I have little love for Perez Hilton.

That said, he's very good at what he does and there is usually a snippet or two of interesting news on his site, this included from a post yesterday:

After 9 years on Broadway, Avenue Q is closing, PerezHilton.com has learned.

The Tony Award-winning musical will play its last performance on September 13th.

It was a very good run!

Sigh. It was a good run, and I thought I'd share another bit of music from the show that was just recently in Cincinnati to large crowds.

Ha -- I thought it was appropriate :-).

Gay Exorcism Response

In response to this seeming gay exorcism...

The preacher admits that yes, it is a gay exorcism.

And comes off sounding like a crazy, bigoted, blathering idiot. I like the question: "How do you know anything has changed?"

Zack Ford blogs has a great running commentary of the transcript.

Frakkin' A, Cincinnati Enquirer!

Seriously, as if the last round wasn't bad enough with the Chadea Thrasher case -- accused and now convicted and sentenced of sexually touching a patient at University of Cincinnati. Ms. Thrasher is trans, a fact that the Enquirer has delighted in reporting over and over and over again for no apparent reason. Despite the fact that what Thrasher did was very, very wrong, the Enquirer's ongoing inability to cover LGBTQ issues with any level of propriety and dignity is galling.

For example, from the story on the conviction on today's Cincinnati.com:

Two weeks ago when Thrasher was convicted of sexually touching a patient at University Hospital – where Thrasher was a working as a phlebotomist – he was wearing a woman’s wig with long hair, necklace, heels and carrying a purse.

Today, the female impersonator – who lives as a woman and uses the name Chadea Thrasher – was wearing the black-and-white stripes of an inmate. That’s the same outfit Thrasher will have to wear for the next 18 months after Hamilton County Common Pleas Court Judge Robert Ruehlman sent Thrasher to prison for that amount of time.

"Female impersonator?" Oh, is that the term we're using now. As of my posting (noon), there was only one brilliant comment: "Doesn't UC Hospital do background checks of the people that they hire? I am sure they would not have hired a female impersonator, if they had known that in advance!!! Good grief!!!" Be sure to check back and find out just how intelligent anonymous commentators can be on a newspaper site.

First On Screen Man-on-Man Kiss

Check out the story here about the first on-screen man-on-man kiss ever which occurred 10 years ago this month. The video above is the actual event on the TODAY show with Al Roker running over to chat with the young couplem whom he believed to be heterosexual with one of the guys proposing to his girlfriend back in Ohio. It's kind of a cool story.

Police Raid Texas Gay Bar

On the anniversary of Stonewall, police raided a gay bar in Fort Worth Texas, arriving with zip cuffs and paddy wagons, in what they are saying was a routine check of local liquor establishments. Protests were held today. From the Star-Telegram:

Witnesses say that police arrived at the nightclub about 1 a.m. Sunday and arrested seven people and that one of those arrested suffered a fractured skull during the takedown and is at a Fort Worth hospital.

About 75 people showed up Sunday afternoon at the Rainbow Lounge to make signs for the rally. Some of the signs read: "Give us Answers Now" and "We Have Rights Too."

Fort Worth police released a statement saying that the Rainbow Lounge was not the only bar targeted by six Fort Worth police officers and two agents from the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission and a supervisor. The group first went to the Rosedale Saloon and Cowboy Palace on Rosedale Street. Nine people were arrested, police report.

A Facebook group has sprung up to relay information about the raid and the ensuing protests. Witnesses were given the chance to post their first hand experiences. One of the club's dancers reports thusly:

I was one of the dance entertainers last night at Rainbow Lounge. I was dancing on a box in the VIP lounge and was looking right at the first guy who was arrested. The male patron was standing at the bar doing nothing but having a having a drink and a fun time (like people do in bars) when an officer entered that section of the club and made a beeline straight towards him. The officer forcefully spun the man around, shoved him against the bar and placed plastic restraints on his wrists. The officer then marched the man out the club. The guy was stunned and obviously really scared.

I was still standing near the entrance to the VIP lounge with a friend when an officer approached a man standing there. The man had water in his hand. The officer asked him how much he had had to drink and the man said that he didn't have to answer that. The officer then said that he was going to arrest him for public intoxication. The man said,"You can't do that I am just standing here right now drinking water." At the time the officer shoved the man over towards the wall near the dressing room and then back to the rear wall near the men's restroom, then down onto the floor. Several other officers, made their way back there to hold that ONE MAN down on the ground as they placed restraints on him. At the time I noticed that all of them did not have FWPD uniforms on. Some of them were actually State Police.

I came out of my horrified daze at that moment and told my friend that we needed to get out of there quickly. I just felt like everything was about to go crazy. Outside the bar, there were officers standing all over the place. I did a quick scan and counted seven squad cars. I heard one officer telling a young woman who was complaining to him about being harrassed by them that they were only there to protect the citizens of Fort Worth and to keep drunk people from being on the roads.

Whoa, dude. This was a weird choice of days to do this (A) and (B) I thought we were done with this 40 years ago. There may be a plausible explanation, and I'll be very curious to hear what the PD has to say about this over the next few days.

Thanks to Change.org for the story!

STUPID JOKE SATURDAY!

You only get one today:

A man rushed into the doctor's clinic and shouted: Doctor! I'm think I'm shrinking!

The Doctor calmly responded: Now settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient.

HA! But I'm going to give you a whole blog to check out -- WE MAKE YOU LAUGH!

National HIV Testing Day -- Repost

I got tested again about a month ago by my doctor, but today is National HIV Testing Day, and I thought I'd repost my story from 2008 that originally appeared on RainbowCincinnati here.

---

The last year has been rough, and I would be lying if I said I hadn't fucked up a time or two.

But, for the most part (I continue to tell myself), I did ok. However, when someone is naked behind and in front of you, the lines begin to blur on exactly how safe you are being.

I have been truly concerned about the results of an HIV test exactly twice in my life.

The first time was my first test. Fresh into the world of gay.com, this chubby 19 year old found a boy that liked him. He was 38 (ish), I was 19. It made perfect sense when I wanted him to fuck me that we should do so without a condom. HIV happens to other people (A) and (B) he likes me and would look after my interests. All I remember is desperately trying to clean myself out and seeing blood.

Three months later, he called to tell me that he was HIV+. That was the first time I was worried and it opened up a whole new world of learning, growing, and a career path that was unexpected.

Today was the second time I was worried, and I arrived via bus to the STOP AIDS offices promptly at... 8:40am. I got to sit out front, reading a book my father had recommended to me, and greet all of my former coworkers, having to make light of the situation with each new smiling face.

"I'm here to celebrate the day!" It being National HIV Testing Day, the ruse was plausible.

I didn't tell them that I was scared shitless, or that I was there only because a series of signs from the heavens were directing me there. No, no, I was just there doing my good, gay duty.

Having not been tested since March (ish) 2007.

You read that right. I am an HIV Counselor and Advocate and had not been tested in over a year. Let's ignore the lapse in judgment and move on with the story...

I had decided that my desire to be tested would also be mitigated by who was testing me. First, Libby. She and I had talked about it before, she's one my dearest friends in the world, and, if I had to have bad news, I wanted to hear it from her. I wanted a friend in that room. Second, Cheryl. It seems counterintuitive. She is an older, religious, dignified African-American lady. When you consider the game of identities, it's not that unusual because she is exactly the opposite of who I am.

And I always said that she would be the best person to hear that you were positive from because she's so much like a mother. I would guess that she would just swoop me into her arms and make me feel better.

Third, Todd. Todd is amazing at what he does, but none of this was necessarily his business. However, if it were positive, he would have to be called in to guarantee my anonymity. I figured the result would be safest in his hands, and he would treat it with the kind of respect that I would want.

Adam and Brent and the rest of the staff... I love them all, but I didn't want them to test me. Sorry, guys. I don't know any of you as testers, and I was really worried.

Todd drove up first. I called out: "I'm in need of your services!"

He looked flustered and said: "TODAY?"

"It's National HIV Testing Day! I wanted to be your first test of the day!" I know I have a bad habit of popping with random projects. I think it's funny he would not have thought that I would be there for an HIV test. When he realized, he looked visibly relieved that it wasn't another "Crazy Barry Scheme" (which he would buy into because he knows they work).

Libby pulled up immediately after, we worked out the details and Libby was going to test me.

I have been in that room many times, but this was the first time in the cushy chair which is now a big loveseat like monstrosity. I reclined and Libby and I gossiped.

If you've never been tested, I'll clue you in: you get asked a lot of questions. And since places like STOP AIDS have a 20-minute test, you are definitely going to have time to chat. Libby whipped out the list and answered the questions for me. We giggled about some of the answers, made light jokes, but that was because I was worried and I get the impression she was a little worried for me.

But she was being a professional, and I love her for it.

I learned one thing, though: don't look at the test. I was watching her eyes the whole time. I freaked out every time her gaze lingered. Kathryn once suggested you just turn the test around so neither of you can see it. Now that I've sat in the big cushy loveseat at the STOP AIDS office, I understand better why. When my job switches to the 20-minute test, I'll remember that then.

When I called her on her eyes, she said, "Honey, it's working. And I'm not seeing anything." She flipped the test towards me.

For most other people in the world, this would be a terribly unprofessional move. I have seen these tests turn positive. Ten minutes into it, I saw what she was seeing: there was no indication of an HIV infection.

Ten minutes in -- and it's a big secret that the tester can usually tell that soon, if not sooner -- and we knew it would be fine.

I texted my sister immediately after: TWICE I'VE DODGED THE BULLET ON THIS FUCKING TEST.

Her response: AND HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU PLANNING TO HOLD THE GUN UP TO SEE IF YOU CAN.

OK, OK. I get it. Learned my lesson.

Carry on.

But I'm HIV-negative... today.

---

And today, and today, and today.

My old boss used to liken the penis to a deadly weapon, "except its not the bullets we're worried about -- but it's a shot all the same," she used to say. I thought it was worth a thought this morning.

Stonewall Anniversary

'We are the Stonewall girls
We wear our hair in curls
We wear no underwear
We show our pubic hair...
We wear our dungarees
Above our nelly knees!'

June 28th, 1969, 1:20am

Per Allen Ginsberg:

You know, the guys there were so beautiful—they've lost that wounded look that fags all had 10 years ago

Happy 40th anniversary, queer rights movement.

Oh and someone said it on Twitter the other day: Why do I feel like Stephen Colbert educated more of America on Stonewall the entirety of the American public education system?

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
The Word - Stonewalling
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Mark Sanford

We're here, we're queer, you'll get to us eventually. Priceless. BTW, did you happen to catch the study where both conservatives and liberals enjoy the Colbert Report because they perceive that he is on their side? Seriously, folks.

And don't forget to check out Wolfie at Back2Stonewall.com's article he reposted that originally appeared in CityBeat, this time unedited. You know, that boy isn't such a bad writer. :-)

Tranny Alert!

This is making the rounds on Twitter -- click here to follow the tweetstream -- and GLAAD will be reaching out to the owners of the website, Tranny-Alert.com, but I was curious to know what you guys thought about the website and the ensuing controversy.

National HIV Testing Day

Don't forget -- it's that time of the year. I'll repost my story tomorrow. Jo Anne over at TheSkeptikOne (ha! I got it right!) has a great run down of where and how to get tested or learn more this weekend. If you are confused, call this number:

513-421-AIDS

(513-421-2437)

It's STOP AIDS' phone number. They'll direct you on how/where/when to get tested.

HIV is still out there; a great way you can be protected, and a great way to protect your partner, is to get tested today. (And don't forget the rubbers, boys and girls -- if you call that number or stop by their office at 220 Findlay, you can get a shitton for free. We used to give out grocery bags full, sometimes.)

Five Guys Burger: A Review

Yesterday, I had the distinct delight of doing lunch with @Kate_The_Great of Kate's Random Musings, whose company is always a welcome diversion in my week. We had another issue to discuss at the time, and we decided on the freshly minted Five Guys Burgers and Fries (website, twitter) that recently opened here in Clifton at 210 Calhoun Street.

I love burgers. I've said it before that, when I dine out, my eyes immediately seek out their cheeseburger because I see it as classic American cuisine and a meal that, I think, is easy to do poorly if ignored and hard to do very, very well. Five Guys does it very, very well. How they managed to maintain their semi-fast food sentiment, their diner look, and still make a delicious and juicy burger... I'll never know. But it's a definite, definite win for the owners, and for the city, I think.

Imagine this, if you will: you've heard about a chain restaurant, everyone raves about it, talks about how wonderful it is, it's lunch time in Clifton in the middle of the week, and the last few restaurants people raved about were disappointments. Sounds like a recipe for disaster, no? Wrong. We walked in -- immediately greeted by an employee who held the door for us, and walked by a sign that informed us just exactly where our potatoes were coming from that day (Driggs, Idaho) -- and were at the counter ordering our meal within three minutes. The menu was simple -- there's not much on it, dogs, burgers, brauts, drinks, and fries is about the whole of it -- so simple, in fact, that the lady who followed us in was confused enough to ask, "Are your burgers any good here? What should I order?" Seriously. You're at a freakin' burger joint.

Got my number, my drink, and waited. I will make a mild complaint that it's hard to hear over the hustle and bustle. To my count, there were no fewer than 15 employees working when we came in, and the crowd walked in shortly after. The cashier is screaming "I need two patties!" every time someone orders a burger, and then there are two guys at the end of the counter yelling your number. I got confused, but I'm sure this will all pass.

We unrolled our burgers. I got the bacon cheeseburger ($5.79) with lettuce, grilled onions, and ketchup, a side of small fries ($1.79, I believe), and a small drink ($1.39). Unfortunately, Five Guys suffers from the Penn Station syndrome: no meal deals, and kind of expensive. My whole meal was just over $10. The price was quickly forgotten. Kate and I considered each other, considered our burgers, and dove in. At first bite, it was love. The beef was exquisitely juicy and flavorful. The cheese was American, a disappointment, but the other add-ons were fresh and delicious. It was not a cheap piece of lettuce stuck on there, it was a nice hunk of iceberg piled on two patties with bacon that carried a touch of spice. The bread was soft and squishable, otherwise you would not have been able to fit my burger in my mouth.

The fries, of which you get a lot for your money, were not terribly impressive. They were fresh and thick and juicy, but I shudder now to believe that I have become so used to -- sigh -- fast food that I may never truly be able to enjoy a real fry. A tad oversalted, I felt like they could have used a touch of something to set them apart. A special spice, perhaps? Maybe just a little pepper? I had just grabbed salt (which I did not add), and I was too engrossed in my burger to go hunting for pepper, and I really didn't think about it.

Regardless, I ate every last one of the potatoes.

The set up is vaguely reminiscent of a 1950s diner. It's decorated in red and white checks. Considering the location of the line and the cashier, I was sure that the place would soon have people pouring out the door. Service was fast and efficient and pleasant, so there was nobody hanging outside waiting to get on the very hot and sticky summer afternoon. The crowd moved right through, and there did not seem to be a lack for seats. The place was full, but no one was left wandering or waiting.

Overall, I'm going back. And soon. Well, once I get paid again. I can't be eating $10+ meals every day. Perhaps just once a week. So much for my waistline.

It's an "A" -- and totally worth the hype.

Oh, and yes, we both picked up the 5chw4r7z habit of taking a picture of our food. LOL. The picture above is from my Twitter (via Twitpic). The bottom two are from Juliet's camera which I still have :-).