Drag Shows and Other Sillinesses

I do not make a pretty woman. (But, really, who does?)

That said, I have a shit ton of fun. My motto, stolen from Succio Sanchez, is: If you aren't walking off stage sweating and out of breath, you haven't done your job. 

Unlike our darling co-contributer, Penny Tration, I do not make my name off my drag alter-ego. I am not famous for my persona as Kristy Kay Karolina; I have only ever been paid $25 to perform and that was years ago. Most days, I curse the day I decided to ever step into a dress. It's alternatively exhausting and exhilerating, and the ups and downs of performing are more stress than I need to add to my life.

But I do it on occasion, and it's always on my time, when I want to. I have to balance the "do I have time to shave" question with the "what am I doing the next morning" question with the "do I really want to stumble around in heels all night" question. All of them are equally important considerations. The last thing you need is to be out in 5 inch stilettos, half shaven and drunk, when you have to be up at 6am the next morning to do that annoying thing we refer to ask "work."

Additionally, there is the question of with whom you will be performing. Trust me, it's a big deal. Back room politics are neither fun nor conducive to a good show. If you can't perform with friends, then you're just performing for a handful of friends in the audience and it's hardly enough to make you feel like you're part of something. And I'm not pretty or gifted enough to stir a crowd to love me in a town saturated with drag and "booger queens." 

When the opportunity, then, came up to perform with three of my best drag friends, I had to jump at the chance.

See, there are drag queens I respect. Penny Tration is one of my favorite, and I consider myself lucky to consider her a friend. She has shown me how to be energetic and creative without losing your spice. Truly Scrumptious, my drag mother, and her constant companion, Roberta Bigg, have given me both my drag career and a sense of showmanship that I could have found no where else. The Black Mondays have spurred my imagination and made me see why I love to perform. These are the people I look up to; these are the people that I view as the replicable fashion leaders in the city. Sure, there are so many more, but, in my heart, these are the ones that, if given the opportunity, I would like to be on par with.

But I don't spend that much time on my look or on my act, nor do I have the natural talent to pull it off.

On Friday, May 29th, at Shooter's, at approximately 11pm, I will be performing with three queens that I love and hold dearer to my person than almost anyone in the world. Though none of us are truly huge names in the city, we have our own following and we have our own sense. Dixie Crystals, Vivica LaCroix, and Whitney Sierra-Devine have taught me how to not only be a better queen, but a better person, and I am honored to share the stage with them.

That Friday, I will be getting out of class and cursing each of their name as I rub Nair and a straight razor over my body in a vain attempt to pretend that there is some resemblance to a woman in my appearance. As I lace up the knee high boots, or get buckled into the corset (both stolen from Vivica), I will be hating on them with curse words not appropriate even for this blog. When Viv start the hour long or more process of painting my face, I will cuss and squeal and want to slap a bitch. 

When I walk into the backroom at Shooter's, and Dixie inevitably offers me a shot of whatever (her poison is -- gulp -- tequila, whilst I go for the girlier shots), I will throw my bag down in frustration, cuss some more at the sheer hatred of the art and sport of drag, take my drink, and say: "Okay, bitches, Mama's ready to go." And for the rest of the night, I will smile and make light of the situation and flirt and dance and drag stomp all over the bar in a fierce imitation of those I respect, in a fierce sisterhood of those that I love. 

I'm going to tell you that I hate every minute of it; but I'll say it with a smile and I'll probably do it again.

Join us -- Friday May 29th at 11:00pm-ish at Shooter's on the corner of Court and Race -- and I'll show you just how much I'm hating life that night. :-) 

All money, btw, goes to the charities of the Court. Bring your dollars!

College Drag Show Follow-Ups

Your NKU hostess, Kamron Vaughn


Your Miami hostesses, Kristy Kay Karolina (me!) and Vivica LaCroix
The two drag shows this weekend -- NKU and Miami University -- have finally announced their tallies. *drum roll please*

NKU -- over $500 for GLSEN and the National Kidney Foundation (via Phi Sigma Sigma Foundation)

Miami -- over $1600 for the American Cancer Society, in honor of Doug Feld

Congratulations to both shows!

CINCY GAY SCENE: Kristy Kay Karolina Returns

That's right, folks, Kristy's coming out for a night to perform at Old Street in Monroe in the Miss Porkopolis pageant.... and she's bringing George Michael out!!! (well, sort of, but I think the idea of a drag queen doing male drag is fun)

Mama wants a crown!

But it should be fabulous. And, if you don't come, mama will beat you with her Scepter of Love.


This is an ISQCCBE event, so all moneys go to local charities. And that's a good thing.

WHO: Kristy Kay Karolina with the ISQCCBE
WHAT: Competing for the Miss Porkopolis 2008 pageant, to follow dear friend Dixie Crystals
WHERE: Old Street Saloon, 13 Old Street, Monroe, OH
WHEN: Friday night, 10-ish p.m.
WHY: Because you love me and I want a crown

Oh, and, as always, if you mention my blog when you see me, you can buy me a drink.

CINCY GAY SCENE: Follow up to Oxford Show

People who do not have access to Facebook or Myspace have requested I post some pictures here of the most recent Oxford Show... HERE YA GO!!!!

Kristy Kay Karolina and Davey Cockett, both of the House of "O"


Davey Cockett, Mr. Magical Makeover 2008

Roman Hands

Coco Bliss, Kristy Kay Karolina, and 21st Birthday Girl (we spank -- and I will even teach you how on YouTube)

Anita Sativa, House of "O"

Kristy Kay Karolina

Clitty McPhearson -- first performance

Vivica LaCroix

Buster Hymen -- first performance

Jazmine Delicious, House of "O"

Dick Zenya, House of "O"

Kristy Kay Karolina

Kristy Kay Karolina in her favorite pose

Again, we raised $2500 for the Cincinnati chapter of PFLAG via the ISQCCBE. Thanks to all!!!

CINCY GAY SCENE: Return to Oxford

Who thought we would bring out a record crowd and raise a record number of bucks for Caracole ($3100!!!!! -- http://www.caracole.org/ and also http://www.isqccbe.org/ -- our sponsoring drag troupe). What a great night :-).

But, as they say... all good things...

CINCY GAY SCENE: OXFORD

Oxford was AMAZING on Friday.

For those who don't know, we've been hosting charity drag shows at my alma mater, Miami University, in Oxford, Ohio for almost 5 years now... this is the beginning of our fifth season. We raised the SECOND LARGEST amount of money of any of our shows (this time, for the YWCA Breast Cancer Fund)... $2400!!!!! WOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!!!!!

If you're reading this and were there, THANK YOU!

If you're reading this and weren't there, you should... December 1st, Balcony, 11pm. We'll be there... will you???

Kristy Kay Karolina (Show Hostess)

Succio Sanchez (Co-Host/F*ckHer)

Muscle Underwear Boy

(because they are our favorite people)

:-)

PERSONAL: Body Image and Engendered Bodies

So there are two of me... there is me and "Mama Kristy."

Last night, I spent the evening at, essentially, a college party in Oxford and, drunkenly, discovered that what Kristy says is unacceptable by me. From Mama Kristy, it's fabulous and fun... from me, it's creepy and lecherous. I swear that is not hte intent.

Interestingly enough, it creates an interesting sort of dichotomy of gender stereotypes within the gay community. AS a full figured and fabulous woman, it is acceptable for me to be a little gross and flirtatious and make boys play games... it is desexualized. However, when people acknowledge that I am a male and have to see me as male, it becomes sexualized and it becomes less fun and more ... well, the word used last night was "creepy."

The interesting jusxtaposition of situations is that I am a 210lbs (that 25lbs lost in 6 months baby!), hairy, "cub" (mini-bear). I've accepted that as the image people have of me... more importantly, I apparently seem older than I am. At 24, people guess me to be somewhere in the range of 32-37. So, on top of being that atypical body type, I now come off as an old, fat, hairy, lecherous man.

I wonder, on the flip side, how much of this would appear creepy were I 50lbs lighter, less hairy, and looked a little more my age.

I have a theory, based on all my evidence, that the only people who are creepy are those that we don't want to be sexualized... old people, ugly people, etc. The young and the beautiful cannot be creepy or lecherous; they are "free."

My prime example: a dear friend of mine has interest in being in porn. People laugh when I suggest that I want to be in porn -- "of course you do;" on the flip side, when he suggests it, people say that he is "open" and "inspiring because he just loves his body and loves sex and accepts it."

Uhhuh.

Change yourself or change the world, I suppose.