10 Year Anniversary?

It with some reticence that I call this a happy anniversary.

Ten years ago this month, my brother, my best friend, and I were walking on the beach with a pack of cigarettes. Though I had dabbled in the habit since I was 13, it was that night that I learned what it meant to inhale, and thus the jokes about Bill Clinton's marijuana history. I wandered down the beach, heavily nicotine buzzed, and I looked at my brother and asked for another. That summer, one pack, a bottle of vodka, and four people were too much for us to finish. We would be coughing our lungs up the next day.

July 2009 -- I am now, as the medical profession would say, a "ten pack year smoker" -- that is, on average, one pack a day for ten years.

Win?

I'm a Quitter

I quit.

I know I'm not alone when I say...quitting smoking sucks. Yes, I have decided to stop smoking. When I think of that word, "decided", I don't feel like its something that's been decided, more like its something that I'm forcing myself to do. It is an addiction and like any addiction, typically you know you need to quit, or you should quit and some can even honestly say they WANT to quit. I wish I could be the one to say I WANT to quit. I'm quitting because I know I need to. Its been a 17 year addiction for me...I know its not going to be easy. So far, I've had headaches, moodiness and trouble concentrating. Wait...I'm like that usually anyways, so I guess it hasn't been that bad. The worst part is not thinking about it....but its all I can think about.

For the past week I've been on vacation with my beautiful girlfriend Penny and I have not had a ciggerette in 7 days. For me, this is a miracle in itself. My friends will tell you that I smoke like a freight train, lighting one after another if I'm in a place that I can do so. But, its been surprisingly easy as far as the withdrawl symptoms go. One reason, I've been with my girlfriend all week, and I don't smoke around her. She's never seen me smoke and she never will. Two, I was out of my normal routine and habit. So, as much as I want to celebrate, I know that the challenge is just beginning.

Tonight, I have the option of sitting at home and dwelling on the fact that I'm not smoking, which I know I will do or I can go hang out with a friend who smokes. Which almost all of them do. Hmm...not much of an option to keep myself away from smoking. But I'm determined to do it...not smoke that is. I thought that since there are alot of you that are trying to quit or thinking about trying to quit, I would chronicle my stop smoking experience with you. I'm hoping that this will help that sabatour in my head that wants to smoke and maybe even help some of you in letting you know that this is a struggle that millions of people deal with everyday.

I am very optimistic and have a lot of support. However, I hate to say it, but even though I don't want to let these supporters down, I know that my chances are high that I will. So, I got a game plan and strategy in place. Things I can do with my hands to keep me from smoking. Too bad my girlfriend lives in another city! Ha! But seriously...things like painting, writing, excercising, things like that. There is even a telephone support meeting tonight...1-605-475-6230 Code #4567891 at 8pm EST. I don't know how legit it is, but its worth trying. So, stay tuned...hope I'm still a non-smoker tomorrow.

Think I'll start smoking tomorrow? According to http://www.stopthesmoke.com/ I have about an 80% FAIL rate with quitting cold turkey. So much for staying positive.

Juliet