Showing posts with label Trevor Hoppe. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Trevor Hoppe. Show all posts

Monday, March 9, 2009

Stigma Drives HIV Infection

Thanks to TrevorHoppe...

Trevor claims this is a big duh for people involved in the world of AIDS as activists/organizers/prevention experts/etc. I think it's good to make the topic a tad more exoteric through mainstream research.

Quick description through a graphic:



Trevor does a beautiful job summarizing it, so I'll link you to him, and to the original research.

As my A&P professor would say: so I showed you that.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Barbacking Video

Thanks to Trevor Hoppe for this one...

Why are we... from Eric Leven on Vimeo

I mean, I leave it up to you to discuss. The boy is hot, though, isn't he?

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Power Little Spoon


I just created a new term (and JereKeys approves)!!!!!
Power Little Spoon-- euphemism for "power bottom"
Teehee. Sorry. It's getting late, and I'm getting tired.

Oh, and to all the power little spoons out there, don't forget to submit your stories to Trevor Hoppe's project, the Bottom Monologues, by clicking on the img below.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

HIV immunity and other fun science


First of all, one of the newest and most exciting studies at curing and preventing HIV permanently has begun today at UPenn (I believe).

From Wired (via TrevorHoppe, via Joe. My. God.):
Gene therapy that could immunize people against the most common type of HIV is ready to be tested on humans.

ruiting for the trial began Tuesday, and the first people to receive the experimental treatment will be HIV patients with drug-resistance problems.

"We do have good treatments for HIV. That has been one of the most successful stories of the last 20 years in medicine," said Pablo Tebas, an infectious disease expert at the University of Pennsylvania.

"However, over time, if the medications are not taken properly, individuals develop resistance to the HIV treatments, so they tend to have more limited therapeutic options."

Since the discovery that a small portion of people who are exposed to HIV do not get infected, scientists have been working to discover the secret to those people's resistance and how to make others resistant as well.

It turns out that most people have a gene called CCR5, which makes them vulnerable to HIV infections. The naturally resistant people have mutant CCR5 genes that inhibit HIV.

Previously, scientists found that by cutting the CCR5 gene out of white blood cells involved in the immune response known as T-cells, they could protect a tube full of human cells from the virus. The gene editing technique relies on proteins called zinc finger nucleases that can delete any gene from a living cell.

In theory, zinc finger nucleases could give that immunity to anyone.

The procedure is simple: Take some healthy T-cells out of an HIV patient, clip out their CCR5 genes, grow more of these clipped T-cells in a dish, and then put them back in the patient.

"In this first study we will re-infuse approximately 10 billion of these cells back into the participants, and we will see if it is safe and if those cells inhibit HIV replication in vivo," said Tebas. "We know they do in the test tube."
I will buy dinner to the first person who can find out how the crazy right-wingers are going to turn this into a cloning, abortion, etc. argument. (The only argument I will not accept is this: AIDS cures people of they gay... I'm sure Fred Phelps has already said that enough, so let's just let sleeping assholes lie.)

Second exciting bit of news, which should a lot for HIV-positive people's sex lives, via Wisdom of Whores (a great book!!!), via Cuddling on the Wild Side:
Public health types are always agonising about oral sex. Should we say it’s dangerous or not? Now, Swedish researchers have shown that lots of oral sex with an HIV-infected partner may actually be protective against the virus.

The study, published in the (expensive, subscription only) AIDS journal and helpfully summarised by Aidsmap suggests that men who give lots of blow jobs to their HIV-positive partners develop antibodies specific to that partner’s virus, protecting themselves against infection. The more virus their partner has kicking around in their semen, the higher the concentration of specific antibodies, and the protection seems to last for quite a while too. None of the men became infected over the course of the study, even though their partners were not all on treatment.

I’ve never been one for warning people off oral sex — while it is not 100 percent risk free it’s almost always safer than any of the alternatives that provide as much fun. But I’d hate to lose my agonised public health type credentials entirely, so I’ll point out a caveat in this study. The couples who were recruited, an infected man with an uninfected partner, had to have been together for at least 6 months — beyond the most dangerous period for infection in most cases. Any guys who did get HIV through oral sex in that risky early part of their relationship wouldn’t be in the study, because they would no longer be in a “discordant” relationship.
I'll say this about oral sex, as a "public health type:" the reason we agonize over oral sex is simple. Long again, when I worked at Planned Parenthood, my NP had an argument that I didn't agree with at the time but one I get now: we shouldn't cure HIV because there needs to be something we are scared of out there. With oral sex, though there are no conclusive proving transmissability via oral sex, and the cases are anecdotal and prove nothing, it would be irresponsible to say that "oral sex transmits HIV" because we're pretty sure it doesn't.

However, oral sex isn't safe sex, it's safer, yes, but that's it. You can still get herpes, gonorrhea (common), chlamydia (rare), and syphilis pretty easily from unprotected oral sex (u/oSIC as I document it, verses u/arSIC or u/aiSIC or u/vSIC). But if you start telling people that you can't get HIV from oral sex, then they start thinking it's perfectly safe.

And, like Saddlebacking, people start thinking that it's perfectly fine.

That said... this is really good news for serodiscordant couples and their sex lives, and ten times more relevant than serosorting.

Monday, December 15, 2008

The Bottom Monologues

My dear blogger friend TrevorHoppe is engaged in yet another project about bottoms... and, considering my newly found bottom-identity, I thought I might help support it...


Join the Bottom Monologues.

I'll let Trevor tell you all about it:

Hey guys! I’m Trevor — one of the three organizers of “The Bottom Monologues,” and I’m thrilled to see this project in motion. “The Bottom Monologues” is first and foremost about cutting through all that bullshit stigma that plagues queer communities about taking it in the butt. We’re bottoms, and we’re proud of it thank-you-very-much! It’s kind of like the “Vagina Monologues,” with a few obvious differences

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Before we can get this thing on stage, we need to hear from YOU! Yes, that’s right, I said you. Not a bottom? That’s cool. You probably still have a few ideas that you’d like to share about bottoms or getting fucked. So let me explain this process a bit:

I. First, we’re collecting *your* stories about *your* lives as a bottoms, tops, versatiles, or none-of-the-above. We’ve developed this lovely online questionnaire for your fill out that asks some pretty broad questions about bottoms: what is a bottom, what’s great sex as a bottom, what’s different between tops and bottoms — that sort of thing! I think it’s a pretty fun exercise, since most of us really don’t get to talk about bottomming out in the open. Which is exactly what this project is all about!

II. We’ll collect all those amazing and fabulous stories and look for consistencies across them. What’s similar in the stories we get? Is there a particular narrative that pops up in many of your stories? And of course, we’ll also be looking for stories that stand out from those similarities and challenge the those common themes.

III. Once we’ve had a chance to pour over the data, we’ll do our best to distill the stories into “composite characters” — our best effort to boil down dozens of stories into one. These will be the products that will be shown on stage in the “Bottom Monologues,” an expression of the diversity and richness of bottoms’ lived experiences. You may not see the word-for-word account of your fabulous experiences in the final product, but you can be assured that it has had an impact on the stories we’ll tell on stage.

I hope you join in on this amazing project. Help us bring the “Bottom Monologues” to life. It will be fabulous. You can have a hand in making our vision happen. Join us! Tell us your story today!
So, help them out. It's real easy to submit your piece (ha -- get it, submit - bottom... I think it's funny). I promise I will post mine here when I get around to writing it.

Hell yea, bottoms!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

BOTTOM


Thanks to Trevor Hoppe for helping me say this loud and proud...

I'm a BOTTOM and I'm proud to admit it!!! :-)

And I'm saying that without the seemingly requisite "flaming" "nelly" or "queenie" (or "fag") that seems to permeate the rhetoric of anal sex. I'm a bottom and I am whatever I want to be.

Friday, October 24, 2008

HIV/AIDS: Another arrest and court case

On the back of the two recent high-profile cases I talked about earlier in the week... we apparently are in the mood to criminalize sex for HIV-positive persons:

A gay disc jockey in Raleigh originally convicted of violating HIV infection regulations in August has been placed on house arrest after admitting he broke probation orders in early October.

On Sept. 6, Q-Notes reported that Joshua Waldon Weaver, 23, who works in clubs in Raleigh and Wilmington, pleaded guilty to charges that he failed to disclose his HIV-positive status and engaged in unprotected sex with three people. Weaver was given a suspended jail sentence and placed on probation. The terms of his probation ordered Weaver to use protection when engaging in sexual activity.

About two weeks ago Weaver was arrested after Wake County Public Health officials contacted his probation officer with information that he had possibly violated court orders by having sex without a condom. Assistant District attorney Boz Zellinger told The News & Observer that health officials became aware of the DJ’s violation after he contracted another sexually transmitted disease that could have been prevented by the use of a condom.

Weaver could have faced 40 days in jail for his most recent violation, but District Court Judge Jacqueline Brewer instead sentenced him to six months of electronically-monitored house arrest. He will not be allowed to leave his father’s house except for probation-approved employment. Brewer also ordered
Weaver to undergo a psychological evaluation.If Weaver breaks his probation again, he will face up to 25 days in jail and prosecutors will ask for a two-year quarantine in a state prison hospital.“His behavior hasn’t changed,” Zellinger told the Raleigh newspaper after the hearing. “We’re trying to address the callousness his actions have demonstrated.”

Zellinger added, “It’s not a witch hunt. It’s a desire to change his
behavior to benefit the community.”
(from Q-Notes, a gay mag from the Carolinas')

I'm curious about the law in North Carolina.

There are some great discussions going on, at the Q-Notes site, as well as on TrevorHoppe.com and on Joe.My.God. I wanted, instead of talking myself (you can read my comments on TrevorHoppe.com), to post some other people's reactions. What do you think?

Well Trevor,the truth is that he needs to be plastered on billboards across the nation. Don’t you want your friends and family members to know who he is when they see him? Well, I do. Maybe one of your close loved ones will bring him home for dinner after dating him a significant amount of time before meeting the family. LOL. GET REAL AND FACE REALITY!!!! He’s sick and he wants to take all of us with him. Maybe you want to join him or are you already in the group. Where’s your picture?
(from Q-Notes)

Trevor & Chris: HIV is a communicable disease, correct? So is TB, correct?

What about all those folks quaranteened for TB? Does the government have the right to tell those people to stay in their homes?

Does the government have the right to prevent the spread of a communicable disease?
(from Q-Notes)

imageofman - I have problems with quarantines but generally agree with them for airborne diseases. This is not the case with HIV. HIV can not be contracted accidentally(mother to child is an exception) . If you have sex, HIV and other std’s are part of the risk you take. If you’re worried about HIV decide for yourself how worried you are and then make your choices. To be PERFECTLY safe don’t have sex, to be safer sleep with one person you trust, to be even safer always use a condom. The cost/ benefit is up to you. I don’t care who this guy sleeps with and I don’t care if he lies to his partners - it’s not my business or yours!
(from Q-Notes)

Hideous....I agree whole-heartedly, Trevor.

I also can't get past the point that he got "caught" because "he
contracted another sexually transmitted disease that could have been prevented by the use of a condom".....first of all it's a bit presumptuous that an STD infection is immediately proof of unprotected anal sex when most every infection can also be transmitted orally....or is it the state of NC's position that HIV+ people must use condoms for oral AND anal sex? (which isn't, to my knowledge, really in keeping with safer sex messaging out there coming from most anyone who knows anything). And for that matter if STD's are included in this code they're using to convict him, then do they now do partner tracing to find the person who gave him this most recent STD and arrest that person, too? Talk about barriers to accessing testing and care? Or participating in a partner notification process to keep your sexual partners healthy?

It's also particularly problematic that a queer publication would run with the story in this way...it's bad enough that queer men and HIV+ men get defiled by the mainstream...but to have our own community legitimizing it! *barf*

We live in a scary scary country!
(from TrevorHoppe.com)

Why not just make him wear an electronically-monitored chastity belt?
(from Joe.My.God.)

Hmm. Two-year quarantine in a state hospital. Nice. What's "appropriate?" How about a "penis-ectomy"? Orchidectomy? Hormonal castration?LOVES me those Southern states!!!Are there normally two willing partners in any sex act, or just the "dangerous" one?
(from Joe.My.God.)

This guy isn't bright enough to care that he is walking around with a loaded gun in his pocket, one that cannot be taken from him and the worst thing that can happen is that the state will clothe, feed and house him at the expense of taxpayers for two years. At the end of that time, he'll probably get out hornier than a fifteen year old and start doing damage all over again. WOW! How about making him work in a long term care facility with people dying of AIDS and/or in a home care capcity for someone who is housebound due to the disease? If re-education is the key to reform, then please put this stoopid motherfucker in a situation that promotes learning.
(from Joe.My.God.)

here we go again with the long slide down the slippery slope. You could sneeze in an elevator and pass along the influenza virus which can have lethal (albeit rare) complications. People aren't likely to give up breathing (and coughing) anytime soon, nor is it realistic to imagine that sex will go away. As this trend goes, along with the fear-mongering 'media-terrorism' of the hourly news cycle, there is no goal in the culture wars more sacred that criminalizing HIV. We are the victims of this dread disease. Our civil rights are not up for grabs. The irresponsible behavior of one individual does not reflect the values of our community as a whole. This must be made emphatically clear. For me I think it's much more useful to focus on near goals that are real and attainable - serosorting, for example. Advocating among all my poz friends to stay up on the latest treatment info and help them out of the debilitating depression that is so common among us long-termers would be another. I walk the walk every fucking day - and I'm not about to let some looser (no matter how cute) from Carolina define the terms my fight. I can be just as creative in name-calling as the next queen - but don't think for a moment that I am unaware of my responsibilities and good fortune.Just to wonder out loud, how many of those who excoriate poz guys with such venom have bareback videos in their porn collections? I mean, we could totally put Treasure Island out of business if we really got together and tried to. That would be do-able; turning the tide of public opinion, well, maybe someday if we survive that long.You may not see the courageous around you, nor understand the burdens carried - Whitman said it best - 'he who walks a mile without sympathy surely walks to his grave alone, dressed in his shroud.'
(from Joe.My.God.)

Ok, so, I found the NCLaw here. Fascinating law, actually. This is what it says about HIV-infected persons:
Infected persons shall:
(a) refrain from sexual intercourse unless condoms are used; exercise caution when using condoms due to possible condom failure;
(b) not share needles or syringes, or any other drug-related equipment, paraphernalia, or works that may be contaminated with blood through previous use;
(c) not donate or sell blood, plasma, platelets, other blood products, semen, ova, tissues, organs, or breast milk;
(d) have a skin test for tuberculosis;
(e) notify future sexual intercourse partners of the infection;
(f) if the time of initial infection is known, notify persons who have been sexual intercourse and needle partners since the date of infection; and,
(g) if the date of initial infection is unknown, notify persons who have been sexual intercourse and needle partners for the previous year.
That's right kids, unlike Ohio House Bill 100 which makes it illegal to have sex without disclosure (and humorously has commentary about inserting "an instrument, apparatus, or other object that is not a part of the body into the vaginal or anal cavity of another" -- that's actually really unexpected in an Ohio law), North Carolina has made it illegal for someone with HIV to ever have sex without a condom as well as notification of partners, current, past, and future.

Right to privacy, what?

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: there are two people in the room when you have sex (or more, I suppose, I'm not one that's against group sex). Everyone involved understands the risk involved with sex; to say otherwise is victimization and intellectual laziness. Gay men, I think especially, are acutely aware of the risk of HIV. If you decide to have sex without a condom -- hell, if you decide to have sex at all -- you are taking that risk yourself. Even if you don't know your partners' status.

End of discussion.

I also think it's interesting that NCLaw requires HIV-positive persons to have skin tests for TB. I mean, wow. We really don't like HIV-positive people down there, do we?

Sunday, October 12, 2008

GAY STUFF: Gay.com Drying Up

Up and down, up and down. You'd think with the weekend traffic, the people over at gay.com would at least try to keep the website up for the weekend. Well, they can't even do that. After revamping their site, the hugely popular (most popular) gay chat site  has been going up and down for almost two weeks. 

My guess is that their "new design" was getting bad reviews from customers and they decided "you know, let's say we're having technical difficulties and fix all this shit that people hate." 

NOTICE TO GAY.COM: WRITE THE CODE FOR THE SITE, THEN JUST PUT IT UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. 

Duh.

Thanks to TrevorHoppe for posting this, showing Gay.com's traffic via Alexia, and demonstrating how important it is for gay.com to get their shit together:

IE: Gay.com is losing its share of gay sex online and they need to turn the tide, and fast. 

In fact, I just tried to log on and my name is not getting online. Hrm. Thanks, so now the website is up but you can't get online. 

This the letter that appeared in my mailbox this morning:

Dear gay.com Members,

Since the launch of the new gay.com, the site's performance has been up and down. For those of you who have experienced the site during an outage or when it is slow, we want to apologize. We know that you expect more from us. Many of you have let us know that directly, and you are right. Weare listening. 

Not only are we listening, but we are literally working around the clock to give you the experience you expect from gay.com . Site speed and performance are rapidly improving each day. Still, we are not yet where we need to be.

So what can you expect in the days ahead in terms of on-going improvements and our communication to you about them?

1) We are adjusting our hardware configurations and software code to further speed processes. Despite extensive pre-launch testing, a site of the scale and complexity of gay.comis virtually impossible to emulate in a test lab. Additionally, we have seen new usage patterns from the site that we could not model and are adjusting our hardware and code to streamline and improve performance. With the addition of more servers earlier in the week, we have seen positive results in overall site speed. We continue to monitor site performance and may add additional capacity as necessary.

2) We continue to identify and fix the bugs that have resulted in unplanned system outages.

3) We are committed to customer service and getting everyone on the site. We have received a tremendous number of phone calls and emails with your questions and suggestions. We are working to meet your needs as fast as we can. We also know that many people still cannot get into chat for technical reasons. Should you need help immediately, we keep an up-to-date Known Issues link on our blog at http://gay.blogs.com/gaycomblog.

4) We promise to be as open as possible in our communication to you. We know these changes (both the relaunch itself and the follow-on outages) can be confusing and frustrating. We will do our best to let you know what is happening, and when and how it may affect you as a user of the site. Given the changes that we need to make, we know that we will need to have a few more planned outages. We will do everything possible to give everyone adequate advance warning of these outages. Whenever possible, planned outages will be conducted in off-peak hours.

Many of you have called upon us to revert back to the "old" site. While the launch of the new site has had its own early challenges, we strongly believe that the new site will be more stable, more flexible and more capable of rapidly meeting your needs, especially when we have worked these last kinks out.

To that end, the feedback we are getting about our new features is valued and appreciated. Yes, there are things that we still need to do (i.e., restoring the ignore and /me features in group chat), but we also have received a lot of positive feedback on many of the changes. Please keep it coming. We really are listening.

We hope this letter helps you better understand what has been happening since the launch. Our first priority throughout this time has been to get all of you on the site and having a great time. We know that we have work to do to get there.

We appreciate your continued patience and support and will do our best to promise you are not disappointed.

The management team of PlanetOut

Want to know the latest, give us your thoughts or need to contact us? 
Here's how:

For news on the site, go to http://gay.blogs.com/gaycomblog
For comments or feedback, click on the Feedback link on the top of very page of the site
For customer service, click on the Help link on the top of every page of the site.

In other words, we're fucking up hardcore. Hold on, it may get a little bumpy.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

HIV/AIDS: Bush to poz-ers -- GET OUT

Apparently Mr. Bushie has no intention of complying to the lift of HIV+ immgrants. From Andrew Sullivan (and thanks to Trevor Hoppe for giving me the heads up -- PS, congrats on your increasing traffic, TH!!!):
The Bush administration has not yet lifted the regulation barring people with HIV from entering the United States, despite the law lifting the ban overwhelmingly passed by the Congress and signed by president Bush last July. Yesterday, they simply reiterated their previous plans to "streamline" the process, which, in fact, does nothing but make it more bureaucratically cumbersome for temporary visitors with HIV to enter the country as tourists or for conferences. They have done nothing to end the ban as the law clearly asked for.

As it currently stands, I will still be required to leave the US for good next March. And many more are in much worse straits. They say they will change the regs. And that it takes time. My guess is that it will take until after the election. But does anyone believe a Palin administration would make life any easier for people with HIV? For people with HIV, the Palin nomination should be terrifying.

AHEM... take that as a temporary lift to the boycott on talking about what's her name.

QC.com reported on the lifting of the HIV-travel ban -- or I thought I did (which actually sparked an interesting debate between me and Benjamin Nicholas found here but on a completely different subject, ultimately). I'm supportive of eliminating the ban and think that this is just another smoke-screen to the homophobia and xenophobia/racism of the Bush administration.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Monday, June 9, 2008

GAY STUFF: Beyond Masculinity

Thought I'd share what I'm reading right now. Many thanks to Trevor Hoppe for A) telling everyone about this amazing project, and B) editing the thing. It truly is amazing.

Beyond Masculinity: Essays by Queer Men on Gender and Politics (img from the same website)

Sunday, April 20, 2008

BLOGGING: New bloggers!

You'll notice, if you're paying attention, that I've added three new blogs to the blogroll on the left side of your page. A brief description:

  • Divas Never Die -- "The life and times of a middle aged D-list diva." -- A local blog, based out of Mainstrasse in Newport, KY, written by a drag queen "getting on in years." :-) She's funny and delicious -- and the flicks of all the pretty boys she's got going on, well... to quote a dear friend, "I'm all juicy."
  • Trevor Hoppe -- mentioned him in a previous blog. Some people around me will read his bio and immediately think of another local pretty boy whom I have often commented that his looks are getting him everywhere because his actions sure aren't -- HA! -- but Trevor seems to actually have something to say.
  • Texas Liberal -- former Cincinnatian who has me on their blogroll -- YEA! -- so I went over and checked it out and it seems to be right up my ally -- I love it! And it seems that he and I blog similarly. :-)

Anyways, you know me, I'm a big softy for being linked from other blogs, so I got giddy when I saw Locavore, Queen City Survey, and Texas Liberal had added me to their blogrolls. I appreciate it, guys. :-)

Friday, April 18, 2008

GAY STUFF: Confessions of a Bareback Top

I've been debating whether or not to post on this website, Confessions of a Bareback Top , for a good long time now. First off -- NSFW!!!! -- you have been warned. The source of my dilemma arises out whether or not to give this guy any more attention than need be. However, he is already fairly well read and circulated, and having received the notice about it on the Gay Men's Health Summit listserv, well, I figured if "the professionals" couldn't keep it in their pants, neither could I.

My own personal fascination with it is from an HIV/AIDS standpoint. I've reported before on stories that discuss the growth of barebacking within the gay community, noticable within the porn community and websites like XTube (also NSFW), with figures quoted as high as 60% of all gay porn now produced is sans condom. This particular man has decided to make it his personal crusade to have as much as bareback topping as possible, despite "safe only" postings on sites like Craigslist and Manhunt. (To the uninitiated: "safe only" vs "bb" are options and criteria you post on hook-up sites where you get to make clear for the world your preference for a condom. Now, having worked in the world for a little while and having lived in this world, the distinctions are vague, as my friends and I have decided that, esp on Manhunt, if someone says "bb" they are HIV+, if they have "no preference" they are HIV+, and if they are "safe only" it is likely they are HIV+ as well.)

But there was also a posting that struck me recently while catching up on his goings-on that plays into this whole question of whether or not gay men are using condoms (posting dated 2-24-08):

Just for kicks...I created a fake profile on Manhunt for a week. I paid the membership, and I posted a very basic profile...which was missing the "safe only" option on my profile... Over the course of 7 days, I was contacted by 274 different guys. I contacted 44 guys (trust me when I say that I was busy replying to emails). Of the 318 men that I spoke to (in Manhattan only), 311 were willing to either fuck me raw - or get fucked by me raw - or both...Thats 98% for those still doing the math... The average age of those guys I have chatted with was 28. Tops, vers, bottoms... you all wanted it raw. 18 - 37, from Battery Park to Inwood. You all bareback.... It was a little experiment for me to see just how many of you out there love the raw as much as I do. Surprisingly, you ALL are. Which just goes to remind me of all that hate mail that I get from people telling me I should be shot for fucking raw.... Looks like there should be 311 other dead people with me...
I will grant the man this: he's right. He's so very, very right. And I'm not going to alleviate myself of guilt by saying, well, at least I'm not like that. Right. We've all made our mistakes in the past, some greater than others, and some with consequences greater than others. I'm sure he's gotten a lot of grief over what he's writing, but I'm going to grant him this:

He's not wrong.

Granted, his view of the world is pessimistic at best... hedonistic, as well. But it's true. People do this, and it's the way shit goes.

My boss and I had a discussion about "what's wrong with gay boys these days." Now, granted, he and I are queens of vastly different generational mindsets and different situations in life. It is often pointed out that those who lived through the dark days -- before the medical and care revolutions in HIV/AIDS in the mid-90s -- and those of us who have really only been "aware" after it has become 100X more manageable, that we view it completely differently and are behaviors are vastly different. For a generation who saw friends and family die and there was a constant panic over "whether or not I got it," the idea that barebacking and the active distancing from risk is almost ghastly. This disease which formed our movement, took some of our best, and killed a generation, to many, now, is no more of an inconvenience. Like diabetes, is the most common retort. There's a set of medical things you have to do for the rest of your life, but the life expectency for a diabetic and an HIV+ person at diagnosis is not that dissimilar these days -- 25 years -- and therefore it's not scary anymore.

And what's better, it doesn't ruin your sex life (see above), nor does it ruin your good looks. It's just another thing.

It's awful but true.

I think we have to believe this, those of us in this age with our mistakes and our scary histories and our ... everything. We have to believe that it's just something to deal with. We are children of a sexual revolution cut short by death, and we are dying to explode out into a world of our own sexuality, into a world defined entirely by our sexuality. That's powerful stuff and us gay boys want to explore, and we have to believe that the terrible that could kill us is just another side effect of the life. Is it a realistic viewpoint? Absolutely not. They don't see the death that's still out there; they don't hear it. HIV/AIDS has been taken up as an "everybody" disease -- which it is more of these days -- and the lack of openly positive people at the clubs drives us to believe that it's somewhere else.

And even if it is here, next to us, it doesn't matter anymore.

It's a scary thought, but by normalizing it, by abandoning the stigma, we have taken the power away from it. It's like when we started etching away at the stigma against homosexuality itself, it allowed us to become normalized, part of the mainstream. The sexual revolution fades, the edginess goes away, and we get into absurd debates about whether leather boys and drag queens should be in our Pride parades because "they scare the straight people." Instead, children and families should be the focus is the new belief. Normalizing it takes the power away. It's no longer counter culture, it is culture, and we leave everything that we were behind.

We've taken the death out of AIDS, and all we have is a part of the life. When I tell newbies welcome to the life, I don't mean this, exactly, and I'm sorry to all of you for promulgating it and not doing more to stop it. I know I could have done more.

Back Confessions of a Bareback Top, I'm not going to fault him for writing. I'm going to applaud him because it's doing exactly, I'm sure, what it intended to... to shock people. Make them aware. And when you hold up a mirror and people don't like what they see, they are revulsed by it. And that's exactly what he did.

It kinda makes me sick, reading... but, I can't stop reading it. I mean, really, what does that say about me?

Update: (I thought this had been added already) When I first found the website a year or so ago, my first thought was that it was created by an AIDS Service Organization as a way to call attention to this issue and to get a discussion going on about it.

Funny thing, I technorati'd the blog -- and Trevor Hoppe from the University of Michigan, an "academic" LGBTQI blog, called attention to a post that I had merrily skipped over and, apparently, not paid much attention to ... wherein the author had raped someone in a bathroom using (what I think -- I'm at work, I'm not opening the site LOL) GHB. I mean, come on, the man is disgusting, but this shit happens. It does. I know there have been nights that I'm sure I was drugged, as ending up on the floor of my friends van rolling around and vomiting is not in my MO -- though it's not far off. LOL

But it does continue to kinda play into my theory that it's an AIDS advocate out there. The author claims to be getting tested regularly -- I wonder at what point we'll get the blog about how he tested positive. (Although, if he's real, he would be wise not to post that, as god knows how many people could probably go after him at some point.)