Jesus, Beau...

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Is there such a thing as a gay non-sex scandal?

Jesus. Two big bits of news out of the world:

1) Sam Adams, whose gay sex scandal is amusing to me if only for the attractiveness of his paramour (Beau Breedlove), is staying in office in Portland. Lovely. Well, wait. That is, until he may still get tried as a sexual assailant after Mr. Breedlove decided to talk to the press and explain semi-sexual advances before his 18th birthday. This is rather juicy and fun to watch, as Beau has named his dog... get this... Lolita. I wish I were in Portland right now to watch it all happen. More importantly, don't the names in this whole case just make you giggle with anticipation? Beau Breedlove and Sam Adams, and their lawyers Dick Trickle and Coors Light (and Sam's dog, Hef). Teehee. I'm so clever.

2) Ted Haggard is a publicity whore. Can we just say that now? Of course his former
boyfriend from his church talks now... just as the music is starting to build for Haggard's movie. Coincidence? Doubtful. Oh how the mighty have fallen, and scratched and clawed to get back up. (Is it also funny that Haggard is now a door to door insurance salesman? Always selling something people don't need, eh, Teddy?)

I want a scandal that comes out about someone being gay that doesn't involve sex. I don't know, like "Anderson Cooper comes out after admitting to only buying Prada and being heard squealing 'Dolce and Gabbana are equitable to God!'" No? Not exciting enough for you?

Portland's Mayor

You may be hiding under a bush in gay world if you didn't hear that Portland's openly gay mayor, Sam Adams, had a relationship with an 18-year old -- gasp -- and then lied about it.

Jesus, really? And now their gay paper -- Just Out -- is asking for the man to step down.

Isn't it awful when people have sex with minors? I mean, 18-year-olds.

Granted, they met when the boy was underage, but by his admission, and by all reports (and no one seems to be denying this fact) that they waited until the boy was 18.

I wish the paper would just admit this obvious: the gay community has to reject this man not because he had sex with a young'un, but because we have to distance ourselves from him. Like the Republicans had to dump Mark Foley as quickly as possible, or the evangelicals had to throw Ted Haggard out the window, the gays get to throw one of their own to the wolves so that we can say this guys isn't like the rest of us.

Sigh. Apparently we're just like everyone else. My sexuality orientation has become a PAC.

Appalling.

Let the man stay. Who cares? 18 isn't that bad. :-)

And does anyone else think it's really really really funny that the 18-year-old's last name is Breedlove. See, I find that filled with hilarity. Oh, is that inappropriate? And, honestly, Sam Adams is good looking. At 18, I don't think I would have said no to him either. Even now, now that I'm a crusty, used-up 26-year-old.

Update: Just to clarify, I'm against the lying. Bad, bad, bad politician. I just don't think the game community should have turned on him quite so quickly. (Thanks to Back2Stonewall for helping me clarify my position.)

Update to the update: From Joe. My. God. Apparently, a porn site has found a picture of Beau Breedlove. Um. I submit this for your... ahem... attention.