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One day, Mary Jane was pushing her little brother in a stroller. At the end of the road, she pushed him down a hill.
Everyone screamed, MARY JANE MARY JANE YOU CAN'T PUSH YOUR LITTLE BROTHER DOWN A HILL.
And Marry Jane... she just laughed and laughed.
She knew there was a stop sign at the bottom of that hill.
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One day, Mary Jane was sitting at home playing video games. All of a sudden, her mom came running up the stairs.
She screamed, MARY JANE MARY JANE YOU CAN'T BE PLAYING VIDEO GAMES. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING YOUR LITTLE BROTHER!
And Mary Jane... she just laughed and laughed.
She knew her brother was still at the bottom of that hill.
---
Mary Jane was walking down the street and saw sign that said "Felt, $0.10."
And Mary Jane... she just laughed and laughed.
She knew she could get felt for free.
---
One day, Mary Jane burnt down the family barn. Her mother came running out of the house.
She screamed, MARY JANE MARY JANE YOU CAN'T BURN DOWN THE BARN. WHEN YOUR FATHER GETS HOME YOU'LL BE IN BIG TROUBLE.
And Mary Jane... she just laughed and laughed.
She knew her daddy was inside of the barn.
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Mary Jane went to the doctor, and the doctor said, CONGRATULATIONS MARY JANE, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TWINS.
And Mary Jane... she just laughed and laughed.
She knew she had only done it once.
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Mary Jane was up in her room reading a dirty book. All of her sudden, her daddy came running up the stairs, grabbed the book, and threw it against the wall.
And Mary Jane.... she just laughed and laughed.
She knew what page she was on.
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Mary Jane was walking a dark street when a man pulled her into an alley and started pulling off all of her clothes.
And Mary Jane... she just laughed and laughed.
She knew that those clothes would never fit him.
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Mary Jane was driving through the mountains one day and drove off the cliff.
And Mary Jane... she just laughed and laughed.
She knew that car didn't have airbrakes.
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Mary Jane was swinging on the swing set in a dress, going higher and higher. Her mother came running out of the house.
She yelled, MARY JANE MARY JANE YOU CAN'T DO THAT! THE BOYS WILL SEE YOUR UNDERWEAR!
And Mary Jane... she just laughed and laughed.
She knew she wasn't wearing any underwear.
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Mary Jane was, appropriately, place in a mental health institution. One day, she saw a man fall into the pool and start to drown. She dove in and saved his life.
Later that day, she met with the psychiatrist. The psychiatrist said, WELL MARY JANE, I HAVE GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS FOR YOU. THE GOOD NEWS IS CLEARLY YOU AREN'T INSANE BECAUSE YOU PROVED THAT YOU CARE ABOUT HUMAN LIFE THIS MORNING. THE BAD NEWS, THE MAN WAS TRYING TO COMMIT SUICIDE AND HUNG HIMSELF LATER IN THE DAY.
And Mary Jane... she just laughed and laughed.
She knew she had just hung the man up to dry.
---
Mary Jane was crossing the street with her mother, when her mom bent down to pick up a quarter. All of a sudden, her mom was hit by a bus.
And Mary Jane... she just laughed and laughed.
She knew it was only a nickel.
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