Yea Stupid Joke Saturday, post-exam portion!!!!
A rope walks into a bar and Sits down on a barstool. The bartender walks over to him, points to the sign above the bar and reads, "No ropes allowed". So the rope walks outside, beats himself against the wall, and then ties himself into a knot.
He walks back into the bar and sits back down. The bartender comes back over and says, "Look, I already told you NO ROPES ALLOWED. Are you or aren't you a rope?". "Nope," the ropes smirks, "I'm a frayed knot"
Q: What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg?
A: One's a flaming Nazi gasbag, the other's a blimp.
Why does Snoop Dogg always carry an umbrella?
What does snoop dogg keep under his sink?
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?
A: Potholes all over Australia.
“Waiter!” shouted the furious diner, “how dare you serve me this! There’s a twig in my soup!”
“My apologies, “said the waiter. “I’ll inform the branch manager.”
Q: What kind of animal needs oiling?
A: A mouse. It squeaks.
What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $4.50 per pound. And deer nuts are under a buck.
What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?
Someone who lays up nights and wonders if there really is a dog.
What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness with an atheist?
Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.
A dyslexic walks into a bra...
From @jeffelrod of Centsinnati:
Brogasm: when gay chicken goes wrong.
How do ducks pay for dinner on business trips?
With their bird-diems.