Friday, March 7, 2008

GENERAL STUFF: Penis Enlargement -- take two

Following up with this blog here about the CEO of Berkeley Premium Nutraceuticals being taken down for a couple of things, not the least of which being making false claims on the "Smiling Bob" commercials.


I just saw a Smiling Bob commercial.

And the Enzyte website is still up.

I mean, it has these disclaimers:

These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

Enzyte should be taken as part of a healthy lifestyle and individual results may vary. The individuals shown are paid models, and not necessarily Enzyte customers.
But those probably have always been up.

Hrm. Here's the thinking: I'm going to jail, but I'm still going to make millions when I go down!!!!

Oh, and the "proprietarty ingredients" list:

Let's break down the ingredients ... never mind, I was boring myself. I can't imagine WHAT you would be feeling. But there were two that got me:

1) "Horny Goat Weed" -- which some of you will recognize as a weed (see pic below) but apparently has been proven to stimulate rabbit penile tissue...?

2) Swedish flower pollen extract -- which freaking flower??? I'm sure there's lots in Sweden. Those wonderful "vitamin" sites say that it restores vim and vigor. Um. So there's some guy in Sweden running around with a bottle, collecting pollen and thinking "Fucking idiots."

And that's all I'm saying.

Actually: all I'm saying now is that I'm disappointed I don't yet have a "penis" tag.

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