STUPID JOKE SATURDAY!

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims!!!

How do you make a bandstand?
Take away their chairs.

Why is a elephant big, grey, and wrinkley?
Because if it was small, white and hard, it would be aspirin.

Why are golf balls small and white?
Because if they were big and grey, they would be elephants.

What did the chicken say when she saw scrambled eggs?
What a crazy, mixed up kid.

From @bucketofstars:
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
It'll take awhile for you to get me hard, I just got laid by some chick

How do you get an astronaut baby to sleep?
Rocket

What did the front end of the car say to the back end of the car?
"I'm exhausted!"

From @dmesserly:
What do you call an Irishman who sits on your deck all day?
Paddy O'Furniture.