Patient #1 chief complaint: Tired
Patient #2 chief complaint: Weak
Patient #3 chief complaint: Dizzy
Patient #4 chief complaint: Fall
If you'd have lined all my patients up next to each other and told them to play-act their chief complaints, it would be like a flip-book or some shit.
heR thing is hurting
Bad tooth ache on Right side Bottem
my head poped
THROWT HURT / CANT EAT SWALLOW
If you're looking for a free meal in the ED, say you have chest pain, not "I wanna kill myself," that way you can leave after your meal.
Never leave your last refill of Percocet in plain site if one of these 3 is coming over for a visit: some dude, my friend, or that bitch
If you are a belligerent drunk, don't piss off the guy with the shotgun.
If you are afraid of heights but the gutters need cleaning, having a 'couple of beers' to alleviate those fears is a bad idea.
For her reason to visit the ER, the patient wrote "I have an abscess in my vagina that squirts pus out when I squeeze it. Also, I think I got scabies from my baby." Quality mom....
- WhiteCoats' Call Room (some gross pictures, but wrote an amazing piece on his malpractice suit that was featured in Emergency Physicians Monthly)
- ERStories (you can't fault 'em for not being direct with their title)
- madness: tales of an emergency room nurse
- A Day in the Life of an Ambulance Driver
- Ten Out of Ten
One day, in a fit of genius, one of the attending's who has been with us for a better part of 20 years looked around, and said to no one in particular: "We could make our job a lot easier if we just set up four tables outside: one to hold the sandwiches and juice, one to hold narcotics, one for STD medications and other antibiotics, and then the actual triage desk. If you make it to desk four, you win... come on back."
Truth. Seriously, I love where I work.