Joy of Sex re-released

How this got a front page bit on MSNBC, I'll never know, but the 1970s book The Joy of Sex is coming back out, revised for the 21st century (on a completely different note, has anyone noticed the decline of the underlining function in this world... even my English class suggested italics for book titles... anyways, back to sex...).

From the article:

Spoiler alert: People still have sex. The mechanics of it haven't changed since 1972, AD or BC. We might be overwhelmed with info now (See: "Internet"), but the popularity and longevity of "Joy" make it seem a lot more trustworthy than, say, "Tickle His Pickle," $10.17 on Amazon. It's been a bellwether of human sexuality for decades.

But it really did need an update. Sections of the original read like shag-carpeted relics. The anti-condoms attitude, especially, but also the sex on horseback (we're outraged, too, PETA); the aversion to shaving anything (especially the Hairy Man); and the assertion that regular orgies were the way of the future (only in some exurbs). Reading him 37 years later, Comfort sounds a lot like your lecherous great-uncle.

The new version is better, in some ways.

For one, the Hairy Man is gone. He has been replaced by a guy who looks like a Best Life cover model, and his new partner is a curvy, comely redhead. In the arty photographs throughout the book, they appear to spend more time in the throes of giggling than in the throes of passion, which is somehow a relief.

For me, I liked the Hairy Man. It was kind of funny.

Which brings up the point: I remember reading this, finding it in my parents chest of drawers, at the ripe old age of probably 9 or 10. It amazed and bemused me. But, like the naked pictures of women in Africa that fill National Geographic or the descriptions of bathroom redecoration in my mother's school books, I was always left wondering: really? I don't get it.

I have a feeling I may be buying this book soon. (And you can too!!!)

...or you can ask your local homosexual about more exciting ways to have sex.

Especially if your husband is hot.

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On a side note, were you aware that MSNBC had a sex advice column called Sexploration, by author Brian Alexander? Yea, me neither... but it includes such brilliant advice like:

2. Avoid weaponizing your penis.“The spectacular evolution of male genitalia that impose physical injury on females during mating has often been suggested to be a product of sexually antagonistic co-evolution,” wrote Swedish scientists. As you might expect, females are reluctant to mate with males wielding pain-inducing penises. This creates a risk of extinction. So while women may like the looks of that “spectacular” thing he carts around, we might all be better off if they chose those of us who are meekly average, you know, for the sake of humanity’s future. Oh, and beware of “spiny male genitalia [which] causes more harm to females during copulation.”

and...

4. For a great afterglow, choose an orgy. Members of this same team of biologists also reported that “under semi-natural conditions sexual behavior in rats is highly promiscuous; they mate in groups and repeatedly change partners in the middle of copulation. This behavioral sequence allows both male and female to control the rate of sexual interaction, assuring the induction of a reward state outlasting the actual performance of coital responses.”

From this particular column.

Um. Yea. For the record, my penis is a weapon. And don't you forget it.

You probably won't, now.

Stop dry heaving.