Monday, January 26, 2009

Follow up on Douggie

So I posted my thoughts on my friend's death, Doug Feld.

I was surprised when I started getting a lot of hits on it, and then I got a text message from Jeffery who said he appreciated it. And then his family checked in and have been posting.

I'm glad you guys were able to share everything with me that you have, and I'm glad you've had a place to express some of your goodbyes.

My spy spoke nothing but the world of Doug's family. :-) They also express their deepest sympathies, but I can't reveal who it was as technically it was against the law for us to discuss Doug. Details, details.

But this came in from Doug's brother, Steve, and he asked that I post it, which I am more than happy to do...
I am not a member of your publication, so I hope that you can cut this onto your blog page. I am Doug's oldest brother, Steve. The world was truly a richer place for having had Doug in it for his 39 years. When he was administered his last rites on Friday, my daughter commented that if there was one person who did not need the religious cleansing, it was Doug. He never did anything wrong in his life.

Doug was a beautiful person, always willing to give of himself. His knowledge of algebra, and the myriad of tutorial sessions he provided, got my children through high school math. When our sister Joan was diagnosed with breast cancer four years ago, Doug threw himself into leading fundraising activities for cancer research. The last complete family picture we have was at a cornhole fundraiser that Doug organized last May. All of the proceeds of that tournament went to the American Cancer Society. He was completely healthy just that recently.

He went into training for a 60 mile cancer research walk to be held in Chicago in August. Unfortunately, he was diagnosed just prior to that day that a tumor had been found. The day he should have left for Chicago was in fact the day he had surgery to try to cure him. Treatments were ineffective against this virulent strain, and while there was a brief window of hope through the Christmas holidays, the aggressive nature of this disease just overwhelmed Doug.

Doug became a lot happier person when Jeff came into his life about nine years ago. That was the first we knew of his lifestyle preferences, and we can take comfort in the fact that he and Jeff were accepted fully by our family. I can only hope that Jeff is able to find the courage to someday smile again. My heart breaks for the loss of my brother, but it equally aches for Jeff. I don't know how we are all going to be able to gather the strength to get through this, other than in the knowledge that Doug is now at peace.

Goodbye my brother.
Thanks to all who have expressed their well wishes to the family, and thanks to all who are keeping the Felds and the Daltons in their thoughts and prayers.

Much love to you all. Every last one of you.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This just made me cry..... sob, is more like it. It's so heartwarming to know that this much love can actually exist. I barely eben knew Doug, much less only met him one or two times.... and now, I can clearly say that I wish I had taken more time to get to know him.